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Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Evidence that you're Proper Middle-aged

I'm 54 tomorrow.

You know you're Proper Middle-aged when ....

1. Your 93 year old Granny says, 'Oooh, really? Will you really?' when you tell her how old you'll be next birthday.

2. People you've been feeling sorry for in the bus queue then insist you get on the bus before them.

3. You bend down to pick up a sock and try to do three other things at that level (pick fluff off carpet .. switch on a plug .... feel under the radiator for that lost button) before getting back up.

4. You feel proud of yourself for finding out how to use 'Crop' on your mobile phone pictures, barely a year since you learned to take an actual photo.

5. You think about contacting someone who taught you at school and then realise they'd be 109.

6. You visit a city centre on a Saturday and wonder if it's all on fast-forward.

7. You root for the ones with grey hair on Masterchef.

8. You understand, finally, why they say, 'Mind the gap' on the Tube network.

9. People start sending you birthday cards with pictures of gardens and a lone watering can.

10. You find yourself saying, 'Why did I come in here?' But it's the bathroom ...


... but hopefully the RIGHT bathroom 



31 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha, I did #3 not half an hour ago! Have a happy birthday tomorrow and remember -- you'll never be as young again, so enjoy it!

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    1. I do #3 so often I may as well just lie down from now on and get up occasionally to make tea.

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  2. Your teacher could be 109. Think of how silly you'd feel if you passed up a chance to talk to a 109-year old.

    Happy birthday!

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    1. True! I could ask him how he managed to stay alive so long having had me in his secondary school English class.

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  3. All of the above - especially going to town on Saturdays. And I also make a sort of "Ooof" noise when I sit down. Just me?

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    1. I nearly wrote that one about the oof noise!!

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  4. Or - even worse - you don't dare bend down at all! Happy birthday for tomorrow Fran and hope you don't get any cards with watering cans on them!

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    1. This is true - and why I don't like going to shoe shops any more and bending down to try and put a shoe on in front of a 13 year old shop assistant who looks like a supermodel.

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  5. I'm older than you are--the same age as Prince, Michael Jackson, and Madonna. Two of these people are dead. I am doomed.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Are you famous, though? Lately, that seems to be part of the criteria for dying.

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  6. I'm 63, soon to be 64 and I don't bend down very often because straightening up isn't comfortable. If I need something off the floor, I get down on my knees, because I can still get up easily from that position.
    I do the "oof" sound when stepping down off the bus.

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    1. Buses in our local area have mechanisms for letting down the level of the floor as people get out. One way to tell if you're looking old is whether the bus driver bothers with operating it while you're approaching the exit.

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  7. 54? That's nothing! You don't even get a senior discount in the US at 54. At 65 I'm finally getting all those discounts. $2.00 off at the movies, 10% discount at Ross Dress For Less on Tuesday's (I saved $6.00 today), and Taco Bell gives seniors a free "senior drink." Life is good

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    1. I'm looking forward to that, especially my free bus pass (which we don't get here until 68, I think, but I'll try and hang on that long).

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    2. We can apply for the Seniors bus pass here at 60, but the free rides are limited to weekends, holidays and 9am to 3pm on weekdays.

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  8. A mere child ...

    The bus driver now waits till I'm sitting down before he drives off . The other day he asked "if someone" in the bus , full of students , would give me a seat .
    Welcome , if slightly mortifying .

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  9. I took a video of our dog's reaction to our daughter returning from Australia after four months away & managed to cover the filming bit with the ipad cover. Our son did the, "aww mum" thing.
    Happy Birthday x

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  10. Too true. May I also add the fact that policemen, plumbers and nurses all look like someone you once taught - and probably are. Glad I'm not the only one creaking around here...Ta for the giggle. Many Happy Returns x

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    1. I keep spotting very young females pushing buggies and thinking, 'Oh, that must be the big sister.' But it's not.

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  11. .. happy Birthday Fran..... I do most of the things on your list.. hehehee ... I'll be 74 this July but having my 99 year old Mum living with me makes me feel positively young.....
    Have a great day.. hugs.... Barb xxxx

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    1. That's a great tip for how to feel young! Perhaps all the 99 year olds should hire themselves out to middle-aged people and get paid a retainer, just for the encouragement factor :)

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  12. Made me laugh thanks. You have a really young granny, mine would be 118 if she was alive. At work I let other people pick things up when I drop them:-)

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    1. Ha ha - I'll try that at work, and see what they say!

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  13. You're a child! My grannies would be 122 and 132. My mum would shortly be 94.

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    1. 'Child' is pushing it. Except for my general behaviour.

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  14. Love the bathroom scene that's hilarious!

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    1. If only it weren't so near the truth ...

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