Evidence that some fictional characters should have made different New Year Resolutions

I last posted these 'Characters' New Year Resolutions' a few years ago and they're always popular, so here they are again, new and improved, plus some extras.

Happy New Year!




Gulliver: Don't lie down in other people's countries.

Red Riding Hood: When taking cakes to grandparents, go via the main road.

Pilgrim: Steer clear of Sloughs.

Dr Frankenstein: Use a wider variety of materials for future craft projects.

Dr Jekyll: Learn to live with yourselvesself

The Three Little Pigs: Begin with the bricks.

Holden Caulfield: Revise.

Jay Gatsby: Never let a woman drive.

Lennie Small: Let go of the soft things earlier.

Mr Bennet: Don't bother with sarcasm that no one gets.

Dorian Gray: Keep the portraits in the kitchen.

Juliet: Marry for money.

Three Men in a Boat: Leave dogs at home.

Magwitch: Skype from Australia

Jane Eyre: Ask for a full tour of the house on the first day.

Piggy: Always carry matches.

Macbeth: Never trust women who don't speak in iambic pentameter.

The Emperor: Check in a mirror before leaving for processions.

Mummy Bear: Give them toast.




Any other suggestions?....




Comments

  1. Buy the bigger basket. Happy New Year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The right answer! Happy New Year to you, too, OSC, and thanks so much for continuing to follow and comment. Much appreciated x

      Delete
  2. Haha! Brilliant. Rebecca (my favourite novel) - Check the beach house for missing boats?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And what a short book that would have been!!

      Delete
  3. Brilliant! I love Mr Bennet's resolution. Thanks for the continuing humour.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for reading, Veronica. Glad you enjoyed it. Mr Bennet has to be one of my favourite male characters of Austen's. So, so sarcastic, but all so futile!

      Delete
  4. Brilliant Fran. I loved this - specially the one about Mr Bennett!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much. That's one of my favourites, too :)

      Delete
  5. Snow White, don't eat apples. Happy new year xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'd think she'd have guessed, given it is handed to her by a dodgy-looking old woman ....

      Delete
  6. Happy new year, funny lady!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, fishducky (another funny lady ...) xx

      Delete
  7. Shylock - get a smarter lawyer

    Thanks for the chuckles. Happy New Year

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh, yes, Jay Gatsby, don't let her drive. Your book would be much longer. Emma, stay away from matchmaking.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Emma is incorrigible. She should take your advice, Janie.

      Delete
  9. Oliver Twist, don't ask for more! Happy New Year Fran and family! ��

    ReplyDelete
  10. That would have messed up Dickens' plot something rotten. 'Please, Sir. I've had sufficient.' Happy New Year, Clare!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey, that’s ageist!!! Xx

    Peppa Pig’s Parents - use contraception!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm just getting to know the Peppa Pig stories because my grandchildren ask for them at bedtime when I babysit. They also have Peppa Pig Snap, Peppa Pig Happy Families .... etc etc.

      Delete
  12. Cathy: Don't be such a friggin' materialistic snob. Marry Heathcliff.

    Happy New Year, Fran. Love this post -- so funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy New Year, Debra. Love your Cathy idea. Thanks for all your comments and support in 2017. x

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons why Fran may soon be forced to live outside

Reasons why Fran will never be taken on as a traditional travel writer

Reasons why Fran might do more of the shopping herself