Evidence that there is always something to learn even while you are Christmas shopping
1. There is always another supermarket queue shorter than yours. However, should you join it, you'll find the person at the front of it has lost her bank card, has a box of broken eggs that need replacing, and has just remembered that she left a small child in the crisps aisle.
2. Everyone beetling up and down the main street is radiant with Christmas cheer and goodwill, but only on the inside, deep down. On the outside, they look as though they'd like to batter Santa senseless with a box set of Game of Thrones.
3. It is only once you have hurled yourself through the crowds into Baby Gap, up a long flight of stairs with all your shopping, navigated your way through hoodies, pyjamas, teeshirts and pinafore dresses, and asked three people where you'll find the socks, that you will remember you have no idea what size your grandchildren's feet are.
4. It is best not to be honest, so when the lady at the bank says, 'You do realise you could have paid in all these cheques via a machine,' you should say, 'Thank you - I will do that next time' and not 'To be frank, I prefer talking to real people with hair and eyes.' No one appreciates this kind of honesty any more and you can't blame the bank staff for glancing anxiously at you, hoping you've taken your medication or wondering who let you out of the house.
5. If you are only five feet two inches, buy the type of Christmas wrapping paper that comes folded up in a bag. If you buy it in rolls, especially if you've fallen for the 3 for 2 trick and have bought 9, you will be dragging these behind you down the high street like Marley's Ghost drags his chains, or as though you are a lost lumberjack.
I wish all my followers a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and thank you from the ...
.... of my heart for following, reading and entertaining me with your funny comments. It is all much appreciated.
Keep reading in 2018!