Reasons why Fran prefers winter

Yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far. My husband heard some advice on Radio 4 that to keep the house cool one should shut all doors, close all windows, and pull all curtains. So we had two choices. Sit outside in the garden in heat so oppressive we could feel it wrapping its sweaty arms around us and squeezing us tight, or sit inside in the dark.

Most of the day, we sat indoors. It's officially true, then. You can escape a heatwave by staying in and feeling trapped and lonely.

Neither of us is good with heat. For our holidays, we look for anywhere north of the Midlands where rain and perhaps mist are likely. One of our best holidays was in the Lake District a few years ago. It was cool and drizzly and we saved a lot of money not buying sun cream, ice cream or insect bite cream. Also, my husband could persuade me up gentle slopes, which he can't if I'm convinced I will die from sunstroke halfway up. 

I couldn't do what my sister is currently doing, therefore: holidaying in Majorca where the temperatures are going to hit the high 30s this week. To do that, I would need someone to pay ME money as I get on the plane. I will not agree to melt without just reward.

I really do prefer weather that makes cardigans essential. I feel safe in a cardigan, protected by wool and buttons. I start each day in one, whatever the weather, and the moment at which I realise it's getting too hot to wear it, I cry as I undo each button, and I believe each button sheds a little button tear too, in sympathy.

No cardigan likes to be hung, redundant, on the back of a chair, or, worse, suspended by its label from a hook, left to dangle uselessly and gather vertical creases.

I am hoping that yesterday's sudden heatwave will not be repeated. I was grateful that it came on a Saturday when I was not at school. It's difficult enough to engage teenagers in the romance and passion of Romeo and Juliet but it's even further undermined when you're middle-aged, sweating like a mare and holding a plastic mini-fan in front of your face.


Fran wasn't the only one hoping there wouldn't be another heatwave 


Comments

  1. Another post that made me shake with laughter, Fran. I share your feelings about cardigans. But what about buying a very thin, wispy cobweb-like cardigan (with buttons) to do the same job but which can be kept on in the heat?

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    Replies
    1. You are such an appreciative reader, Sheila. I am so pleased my writing makes you laugh. As for thin, wispy, cobweb cardigans, you're not selling that one to me .... they sound rather sinister, draped around one like some enormous spider's knitting ...

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  2. Friends in Germany and Switzerland like you, are lurking inside in the dark. Daunting to deal with such extreme heat.

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    Replies
    1. Switzerland? No! What is happening to the world?!

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  3. Not a fan of the heat here, either, and also love my cardigans :)

    Love the thought of each button shedding a little button tear - not that I want the buttons to be sad, but in an empathetic, Disney-esque, anthropomorphizing way, you understand :D

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    Replies
    1. I do understand! Completely! Maybe Disney would be interested in my idea .... I could make MILLIONS.

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  4. You'd better make a note to never come to Australia outside of July to September. Those are our cooler and sometimes wetter months.

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    Replies
    1. I'll be on your doorstep on the 1st July 2020, River. I do appreciate the invitation.

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  5. I'm the opposite. I should have been born somewhere really hot. I haven't noticed it being warm enough to risk removing my cardigan yet!

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    1. You are like my son, Ros. He spent a few weeks in Uganda dressed in a woolly jumper.

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  6. Haha! Brilliant post. You nailed it. But I am a heat lover, and my buttons giggle expectantly when I undo them (!) Loved your post though x

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    1. My buttons and your buttons will never get on!

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  7. WE have eight to twelve more weeks of this to endure. It wouldn't be so bad if we had a balcony or some shade but we have neither in this unit so,, yes,,blinds closed except for the one room our plants require some light in. You can't open any windows because the heat and humidity comes rushing in so you have to live in 'fake air' from the air conditioner. No wonder I never feel good in the summer. I'm sorry you are suffering too. Never mind, the rest of the year when everyone is moaning and missing the heat we'll be full of pep.

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    1. I went to Spain a few weeks ago and noted that they had black blinds on every window to shut out the sun. It seemed such a good idea. But as you say what about house plants? Or, in fact, just your mood?

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  8. Holland was the only western European country that didn't participate in the dratted heatwave. We just hovered round C18.
    There's such a thing as carrying Calvinism to extremes.

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