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Friday, 17 December 2010

Evidence that posting twice in a day is possible but only when a bolting reindeer is involved

Watch Rudolf go in this BBC video  ....

Rudolf the Reindeer makes a bid for freedom

As Rudolf had said to the police earlier on that day ...

 'Look, Inspector.  It's like this.  Guys mention your shiny nose once - you just ignore them.  Twice - well, okay, they're jerks, but you stay cool.  Three, four times - it gets kinda annoying.  Five, six, seven - you give them a little nudge with your hoof to let them know you're no sucker.   But three thousand four hundred and seventy nine times?  No one can take that kind of hassle and stay calm, especially when they insist on singing the damn song each time, too.  So, I bribed an elf to attach spikes to the ends of my antlers (these elves are mugs when it comes to illegal height hormone drugs) and then, next time they started the old shiny nose routine, I picked them all off one by one.  Yeah, I know.  Gory.  But, look, that's a lot of meat lying around just now if you're looking for an alternative to turkey for your Christmas dinner, and I'm not putting ideas in your head or anything, but reindeer meat is worth a packet on the black market.  Hey, I can see you're tempted.  Yeah?  You mean it?  What, I can just go?  Now?  No charges pressed?  Sure, I'll run. Thank you, Inspector.  Thank you.'

11 comments:

  1. Very amusing. Thanks.

    All the best, Boonie

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  2. With the added advantage that venison is one of the healthiest meats around. For us that is, not necessarily for the deer.

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  3. Eliza - you are a woman of compassion.

    Boonie - glad you liked it. Thanks for the comment.

    Steve - I did try venison in my pre-veggie days but I just kept thinking bambi-bambi-bambi which marred the enjoyment somewhat.

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  4. lol great story, thanks

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  5. Where's the sleigh? And Santa? And all the elves?

    Fran, I was going to write something severe about your gruesomeness but then I read your Bambi comment, and relented. My beloved does occasionally have Bambi in restaurants and puts the rest of us off our veggieburgers by addressing his dinner thus.

    Must go and lie down now. We've had a whole week at work and I'm not used to it.

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  6. You might not believe this but I have eaten reindeer and enjoyed it, In Stockholm. Nobody sang though.

    As for falling and airing your big bottom for all and sundry: couldn't you have used the weight to propel you backwards? I did, my bottom landed first; but my wrist didn't like it much.

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  7. LilyS - a pleasure!

    Isabelle - I have to say, although I wouldn't EAT one, I think someone should invent the Bambiburger. Bambiburger-in-a-bap. It's just so SATISFYING to say.

    Friko - thank you for your advice. Next time I fall over I will try to do so more carefully.

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  8. At which point he took flight from the police station which, in turn, led to the start of yet another Christmas story.

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  9. Ooh Bambiburgers.. that's got me feeling peckish. I might nip out for a carvery!

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  10. Alan - that's the reindeer's life for you - full of exciting happenings.

    Annie - oh deer.

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