Reasons why the burqini is already SO yesterday ....
Here it is: this year's new swimwear option.
You can see already how the sack is positively designed to be worn as beach wear. It is one size fits all - voluminous enough to fit the largest female form, whether that voluptuousness be caused by I'm-a-nobody- roast-dinners-and-apple-crumbles-throughout-the-winter-months or by the fact that you are a-television-celebrity-cook-who's-a-brilliant-advert-for-her-own-profiteroles.
And if you want to keep your beach picnic in the sack, too, as well as your towel, picnic blanket, beach volleyball set, Jilly Cooper novels and perhaps children, there's loads of room.
The tie does up nicely round the neck, leaving a bit of sacking that comes up just under the eyes so that you can look out for sharks (or paparazzi) while you're in the water.
Sackinis are available in other styles, too.
This 'Honestly-I'm-really-a-sack-of-vegetables' style is perfect if you're wanting that discreet holiday away from the glare of publicity. Rather than just the plain sack, which screams 'Hey, come over here, I want to be in the Daily Mail tomorrow', this sack, labelled with the names of popular foodstuffs, will convince anyone that you're just a plain old bag of veg, out for a family day at the beach with all the little spudlets and turniplets.
The other advantage about this one is that, when you're out swimming, sharks and other violent sealife won't touch you as they don't eat vegetables. A sack labelled 'Smaller Fish' would, of course, have quite a different effect and is not recommended unless, of course, the paparazzi are already on your case and being ravaged by a shark seems like an attractive alternative option at the time.
There is one more sackini option you may like to try.
This one has a strongly seasonal theme and may look totally out of place on a hot beach.
But, hey, what's new?