WHAT YOU'LL FIND ON THIS BLOG

Sunday, 20 September 2015

Evidence that Fran's view on life today is a warped, bitter one

Some universal truths

1. Disturbances to your radio or TV reception only happen at key cliffhanger moments, not in adverts.

2. Only the newest and best china mugs get dropped. The chipped ones hang on for Armageddon.

3. When your friend is 39, you will remember the birthday and send the card in time. When the friend is 40, their birthday will be on a Monday and you will remember on post-free Sunday.

4. When you need three eggs for a cake, you will find two in the box, which is even more annoying than none.

5. Your neighbour will go to Spain for a week, leaving their unadjusted alarm clock due to beep at seven for an hour, the same week you decide on a staycation.

Fran's neighbour would regret giving her a key ...


6. If you only need to buy a tin of sweetcorn or one carrot, the queue will be forty-strong.

7. Soup lands on freshly-laundered white shirts. It will always be tomato.

8. You will always be three seconds away from the bus stop when the bus moves off without you, and waving, so that everyone in the bus can see.

9. Your flu bout will time itself precisely for your two weeks in the South of France. The previous fourteen weeks at work, you'll be as healthy as beansprouts.

10. The cleaner in the public convenience will decide to service the cubicles when you're having tsunami diarrhoea and watching his mop come under your door.

25 comments:

  1. Brilliant! I laughed all the way through this post.

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  2. Oh how true.
    I remembered a friend's birthday throughout our twenties... our thirties... and our forties but FORGOT to send a card for her 50th birthday !!!
    A work colleague has gone on a restful Yoga retreat in Italy for a week. Her crazed neighbour is being driven mad by some alarm she has going but I do not have a key and can't reach her by phone; I have however managed to contact her daughter to sort it out !
    I hate going to a public loo when the cleaner is in !

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    Replies
    1. Oh no ... I hope she's still a friend! I guess real friends aren't going to hold these things against us ...

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  3. Anonymous20/9/15 11:06

    No. 7 Ditto Bolognese sauce!

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  4. Haha! The last one is my favourite. Only this usually happens to me at work. Great post for a gloomy Sunday evening :) x

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    1. Aha, but your Sunday evenings aren't so gloomy as they used to be!!

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  5. Lived it in August.
    My far away sister turned 70 on a Sunday. I remembered that Saturday.

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  6. Replies
    1. You know me. Full of truth, and certainly not one to exaggerate ...

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  7. All true, although #8, here, if enough passengers see you running and waving they will call to the driver to wait, and he will.

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    Replies
    1. Do your drivers do training courses?

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    2. yes, but I don't know how long they train for. I've been in several buses recently where the driver is undergoing training with a teacher/inspector sitting in the front seat near him/her.

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  8. Love them all but especially the last one. Not that it's ever happened to me.

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  9. Love it! Thanks for cheering up a grey morning Fran. Especially appreciated the diarrhoea ;) x

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    1. I love the fact that you appreciated the diarrhoea. That may be the first time in history anyone's actually uttered that phrase.

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  10. Don't know what happened to my comment, Fran. Loved the whole post, but particularly the last one as I was the cleaner last night when my poor mum exploded (she's a bowel cancer survivor).

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    1. I did get your comment, Mel, but I was at work and with no chance to moderate them all until this evening. I feel very sorry for your mum. How embarrassing for her.

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  11. As elderly aunts used to say ,
    "These things are sent to try us ." . When sorely tested , they might remark ,
    "Into every life a little rain must fall. "
    I'm not an elderly aunt .

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    Replies
    1. I am! (If 53 is elderly ... for an aunt.)

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  12. Oh come come... It's not always like that. I've just hung my washing out, and it's not raining yet. Hang on... I think it's just started...

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    1. Ha ha - as soon as you think, Oh good, it's not raining, you're in trouble.

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  13. Oh, Fran...you truly are a tonic. You have a knack of seeing life exactly as it really is and you never fail to amuse with your delightfully dry wit and uncanny powers of observation. Just delightful! Thank you, always, for your humorous posts. I seldom comment, not from lack of appreciation. On the contrary, I am in awe of your penmanship.

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