Evidence that Fran's view on life today is a warped, bitter one
1. Disturbances to your radio or TV reception only happen at key cliffhanger moments, not in adverts.
2. Only the newest and best china mugs get dropped. The chipped ones hang on for Armageddon.
3. When your friend is 39, you will remember the birthday and send the card in time. When the friend is 40, their birthday will be on a Monday and you will remember on post-free Sunday.
4. When you need three eggs for a cake, you will find two in the box, which is even more annoying than none.
5. Your neighbour will go to Spain for a week, leaving their unadjusted alarm clock due to beep at seven for an hour, the same week you decide on a staycation.
|Fran's neighbour would regret giving her a key ...|
6. If you only need to buy a tin of sweetcorn or one carrot, the queue will be forty-strong.
7. Soup lands on freshly-laundered white shirts. It will always be tomato.
8. You will always be three seconds away from the bus stop when the bus moves off without you, and waving, so that everyone in the bus can see.
9. Your flu bout will time itself precisely for your two weeks in the South of France. The previous fourteen weeks at work, you'll be as healthy as beansprouts.
10. The cleaner in the public convenience will decide to service the cubicles when you're having tsunami diarrhoea and watching his mop come under your door.