Evidence that trying to economise on the number of characters in your literary work will always have consequences
The Three Bears - a tragic tale of loss and regret in which a family of bears argue over porridge and muse on their boring lives. Baby Bear says, 'If only a blonde girl would come and steal our breakfast, break one of our chairs and test out our beds, that would at least liven things up.' Mummy Bear, who is narked because once again people are moaning about her cooking says, 'Well, that's not going to happen.' She's right. It doesn't. And they find themselves, the day after that and the day after that, arguing over porridge all over again and thinking how like depressing modernist literature their lives are. Romeo - An Italian youth is infatuated with a girl called Rosaline. His friend says to him, 'Look, mate. You're obsessed. Come and gatecrash this party with me tonight and I promise you'll meet someone so stunning that you'll never think about Rosaline again.' So Romeo gives in and goes to the party where he spends the whol...