Being Me

Cats are more enthusiastic than English students.  I know this because, when I opened the door this morning to welcome a pupil I teach privately from home, a cat from a neighbouring house took its chance and shot in like a nun out of a swingers' party and up our stairs.  It went so fast, it was just a blur, but I saw the look on its face and that look said, 'I can't wait to get in here and onto the bed of an allergic person.  I'm dead excited.'   'Huh?  I'll make you sneeze, will I?  You're lucky - I was hoping  to induce a full anaphylactic shock if I'm honest, in revenge for all the times you've kicked me out before.' Then I looked at the pupil's face.  Let's just say, excitement wasn't the emotion I saw there as she stood on the doorstep in anticipation of our lesson on non-fiction texts. At least the kids at school this week have been satisfyingly keen.  I've been teaching 'Romeo and Juliet' and this is

I loved this BBC news story about the woman who found her lost wedding ring round a carrot she dug up from her garden. Things you don't expect to find when digging up your dinner I have my own ring story.  Our family was at a big Christian festival once, the kind where thousands of people bring tents and camp together and then have to spend the week trying not to argue with their spouses because everyone can hear you being not-very-Christian. My husband was working as a milkman at the time.  Why is this relevant?  You'll see. Towards the end of the week-long festival, my husband lost his wedding ring, having left it in the gents' facilities when he went to have a wash.   He came back to the tent and I asked him where his ring was, which was when he realised what he'd done.  I considered having a tantrum about it and calling him a few names, but I couldn't risk everyone hearing.  Instead, I said, very loudly, 'DON'T WORRY, DARLING HONEYBUN SUGARPIE, I