Being Me

My grandmother is 95. I visit her once a week in a care home. This week, I came away from the visit grateful for some lovely carers who were working with the elderly there in a compassionate and sensitive way. It's not always the case. Before she went to the care home, I used to visit her in her own flat, where she lived alone. Week by week, it was clear that she was deteriorating and would need more care eventually. I wrote this short poem about her at that time in response to the challenge to write a 'list' poem. Any of you who have elderly relatives might find it resonates. And if you like writing poems, trying a list poem is worth doing. Crossed out Stains on your blue cardigan.  Hymnal tones of horseracing on the TV.  One Hermesetas, lost.  Your leg bandaged like a Pharoah's. A teacup, brown around the rim.  Crumbs. Discarded news.  Blank crossword puzzles. Tablets.  Monday.  Tuesday.  Thursday? Denials of naps.  A half-eaten currant bun wra

I was out for a walk this morning and saw a man bring a vacuum cleaner out of his house and park it at the top of his drive. I have no idea why. Perhaps he was taking it to be mended and was about to load it into his car. Anyway, he parked it, and went back into the house. As I walked past the house, the vacuum cleaner, which was on tiny wheels, began to take on a life of its own, as though it had waited all this time for freedom, and made its way down the path which had a slight incline. It started slowly and picked up speed. I swear it took a sneaky look behind it, like a wayward child would. What would you have done if you'd seen this happening? I stood there watching it. It was halfway down the path when the man came back out, saw what was happening, raced down and grabbed it before it got on a bus to Stratford and had a day out or left the country for a new life in Bolivia. The man looked my way, but pretended not to see me. He looked sheepish, as though it were a

I've learned recently that silent discos are a thing. Everyone puts headphones on and dances around to tunes of their choice, as in this picture. This is the best idea ever. SO many advantages over normal discos. I will list them.  1. No one will ever know that you are dancing out of rhythm, even if you are to the dance floor what atrial fibrillation is to the human heart. 2. You're not reliant on a DJ choosing decent songs. It's so frustrating when they play two classic Motown numbers so that you get into your boogie, and then a song which means suspending yourself in the air for three seconds and coming down on the offbeat. 3. Everyone's dancing on their own, so there's no need for that existential angst when others seem to be dancing in pairs or with friends, and you're bobbing away unilaterally like a ship come adrift from the Armada, pretending you totally meant to be lost and lonely. 4. If you keep to silent discos at home to liven up your p