things not to admit to anyone

I'm walking to school when a Midland Stagecoach blue bus comes past. In the back, two teenagers, one girl and one boy. Suddenly, they start waving at me. They look pleased, no, delighted to see me. They wave frantically - the kind of wave that says, 'quick, quick, wave back, before we move on'. Do I know them? Do I heck. But ... but ... surely I must. They look so glad that they've spotted me walking to work and had the opportunity to wave. They look as though we've had tea together, been for walks in the park together, phoned regularly. So, hey, I've only just moved into the area and know no one except close family who would wave to me on the bus. What does that matter when two teenagers have obviously recognised me and are very upset that I might not wave before the bus moves away?

So I wave. Not just a little 'I'm not sure if I recognise you, but I'll wave anyway' wave, but a 'Hi, hi, so great to see you, so here's a really enthusiastic idiot-type wave that expresses my joy and bliss'.

They keep waving back, but at the same time, are collapsing into each other's laps. Oh, I see. They were playing 'let's see how many dorks will give in to waving to us just because we looked as though we really knew them'.

The rest of the walk to school finds me trying to hold my head high. Later I tell someone the story and realise this, too, is a big mistake. They think I'm a dork as well. I realise there's no one I could tell this story to who would sympathise. 'You saw their faces, they were strangers, you didn't know them, so why wave?'

Ah, one of those eternal questions, like 'why am I here?' and 'what is the purpose of life?' And, why has all the cake gone at break-time just when I needed help?


  1. Genuis! I sympathise! I probably would have granted a cautious smile - however I have been known to completely ignore someone that I spent five years going to school with when I saw them in a pub a few years later in case I said 'hello' and they didn't recognise me. Unlikely, yes, but possible. Rude is just as embarrassing as dork I find!


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