Why one should never tamper with dictionaries
I have a list of phobia words in a book (I don't suffer from bibliophobia: the fear of books). I have been looking through them for ideas (neither do I suffer from ideophobia: the fear of ideas). I now have a new idea (which means I can't have neophobia either: the fear of novelty).
Are you fed up yet? (If so, you perhaps have all of the above-mentioned conditions and should see a doctor; that's quite a problem you have there.)
I think some of the definitions of these phobia names are BORING, so I have redefined some. I am sure my new definitions will be appearing in a dictionary near you at some point soon.
1. barophobia - apparently this means 'fear of gravity'. How tedious is that? I think it's either:
- a condition affecting ex-ballet dancers
- a pathological reluctance to pay for the next round of drinks
- something intelligent children can claim to have when their parents push them into a law degree
- anathema to any story with a fable in it written by ancient Greeks
- a fear of unfinished statements about people, something of a tendency in teenagers, as in 'He's so ....'
- a terror of thinking, affecting many young people today, and manifested when their teacher says, 'Now, I want you to consider this carefully.'
- a preference for talking radio over any other sort of radio that is so pronounced it causes fights between spouses (including someone NOT VERY FAR FROM THIS COMPUTER)
- a life-threatening condition which exhibits itself in rages should no firm fruit be in the refrigerator
- a condition which causes children under three to race at top speed away from any plastic bottom-shaped utensil into which they know they are expected to perform
- a pathological hatred of spouses who put hundreds of plants in small containers in very tiny gardens, leaving a minuscule area in the garden for sitting, something relevant to a person NOT VERY FAR FROM THIS COMPUTER
- a serious condition in which a person, at the sight of words beginning with two consonants, about which the pronunciation is ambiguous, runs away screaming