Evidence that a little bit of updating does nobody any harm

Some old novels need bringing up to date, methinks.

Ta-DAH!  I bring you ....  Techno-lit!

Cyber with Rosie ... in which a Gloucestershire lad in very baggy trousers strolls through a field with a young girl with plaits and a gingham dress.  The sun is out.  They can hear cows.  They discuss life at the village school, the cooking smells in his mother's kitchen, and his new Apple iMac with its 27-inch LED backlit display and widescreen 16:9 aspect ratio.  They kiss.

Orange is Not the Only Fruit - A well-known mobile phone company brings out a new range of apple and banana shaped handsets which they market primarily in a depressing Northern town.  A repressed teenager with rhetorical skills honed in the Pentecostal church abandons her ambitions to go to Oxford, leaves home under a cloud, and joins the phone company as their main Northern rep.  There is a touching reconciliation with her mother after she contributes an idea for an organ music ringtone which proves surprisingly popular.

Three Men Boot Up - a trio of comic Englishman decide that as they have nothing else to do that is worthwhile, they will have a series of trivial adventures by agreeing to turn on their computers at the same pre-arranged time every day.  There are hiccups along the way, mainly because one or other of them gets involved in another activity totally unrelated to the plan and goes on about it for a hell of a long time, and sometimes a large dog with a stupid name demands attention.


  1. I look forward to reading (on my Kindle) The Postman Always Rings Twioce (on my iPhone), Lorna Doonloading (sorry) and Wuthering Broadband.

  2. Not forgetting Lee's sequel. Disillusioned with the Apple iMac, the lad abandons Rosie, the IT girl. His subsequent quest for the perfect retro lifestyle is captured in 'As I Walkmanned Out One Midsummer Morning'.

  3. Steve - Lorna Doonloading is just my kind of joke. No need to apologise. You're talking to a woman who appreciates all the knock-knock and doctor, doctor puns.

    Martin - Magic! Loved your contribution! Thanks for joining in.

  4. Sorry the imagination isn't kicking in but laughing just the same:-)

  5. I feel silly - I have no idea what books you are talking about...

  6. Cyber with Rosie! Ha!

    Thanks for the smile.

  7. Or there is 'Down and Logged Out in Paris and London', a story in two parts on the theme of shoddy internet connections.


  8. Jane Air

    A girl brought up by her dowdy parents, and forced to live in workhouses, finally realises her true potential, and becomes a Page 3 Model.

  9. Hang on a min! I thought you had RSI? Not that I am complaining about your post of course..... was just wondering how your hands are getting on.

  10. Eliza - when the kicking begins, come back and have a go.

    Alex Croc - Cider with Rosie, Oranges are not the Only Fruit, and Three Men in a Boat. I'd say read them, but I've ruined them now!

    Talli - that's okay. Very happy to dispense smiles. That'll be one hundred pounds, please. Send the cheque as soon as poss.

    Jayne - there certainly is. Good one.

    Annie - thanks for your concern. Am having to be careful, but not spending so much time browsing, plus having my keyboard in a different position, is making a lot of difference. (I guess I should have known that keeping it by the fridge and typing while helping myself to cheese and cream cakes really wasn't the way to do things.)

  11. To kill a mac-i-nbird?
    Sorry, it's too late to be brainy. Besides, i could never compete with you, you have all the latest techno stuff at your veRSIfying fingertips.
    No, still no good, sorry.

  12. I prefer your versions to the originals - you bend the mind more... Nothing beats a good mindbending- best exercise for keeping healthy.

  13. Friko - Now THAT was clever! However late, your brain was still working very well indeed.

    Jinksy - The problem is, will the mind ever go back to normal after being bent? Do we want it to? How should our minds be anyway? Why are we on the earth? Is there such a thing as fate? What is the purpose of wasps?

  14. And JKJ's sequel: Three Men and a Byte. (This might work better if I knew precisely what bytes were).

    Sense and Compatibility? (Quite a good marriage prospect, don't you think?)

    The Screenshot of Dorian Gray? (Corruption could figure in this one.)

    (Get thee behind me, Fran! I'm supposed to be marking.)

  15. Anonymous31/5/10 06:17

    I'm not even going to try and be clever with some fabulously cool suggestion. Because I am lazy and would rather giggle at others ;0)

  16. Isabelle - Ah, stuff the marking. This is much more fun. (That's why I've abandoned my exam marking to come upstairs and check blogs. Tut tut. You and me both.)

    Eternally Distracted - Aw, go on. You know you want to.


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