Why I am such a disappointment to my country

I'm SO sorry, Mr Osborne-Chancellor-of-the-Exchequer-and-I'm-sure-a-very-interesting-man-to-your-loved-ones.  I was doing my bit as a citizen, watching live coverage on the BBC news website of  your austerity measure announcements, and feeling very virtuous for sharing with my country in hearing the news as it happened.  I was even just about to hang out my Union Jack from a bedroom window.

But my eyes kept sliding over to the right of the screen at the other headlines.

'Sperm donors deserve greater recognition' did not tempt me.  I like to ask people what they do, when I'm at parties, and get answers like, 'I work for an accountancy firm' or 'I am a teacher' or 'At the moment, I'm currently unemployed, but have an interview tomorrow'.  If someone said, 'I'm a sperm donor, and proud to admit it', to be honest, I wouldn't know where to take the conversation next.

Another headline was, 'Do you have a Wayne Rooney in your office?' and, to be completely frank, I'm thinking, if I did, I would keep it as a shameful secret and not say a word to anybody.  So I wasn't tempted to look at that story in more detail either.

Then I saw this.  'Record-breaking cat in Nevada'.

Mr Osborne, I resisted at first.  I did.  I watched a whole 3.5 seconds more of your coverage before clicking on the Nevada cat story.

Boy, was it worth it.  Have a look at this link ....

Something I shouldn't have found more interesting than Mr Osborne


  1. I have just found your blog after reading a link on another and I must confess I am loving it! Thank you for brightening up my afternoon.

  2. That cat has been placed on a mediaeval rack and stretched.

    As for Osbourne. Thank God he isn't a sperm donor.

  3. Ah, dear George. Our duaghter used to have a little Lego man just like him...complete with detachable, moulded hair.

  4. I, of course, meant 'daughter'.

  5. Brilliant! Perfect post to start my daily blog crawl :-)!

  6. Tawny - so nice to make your acquaintance! Glad you like the blog.

    Steve - Sounds like Dr Suess - the cat on the rack - or was it the mat?

    Martin - you are so right. There is something so unreal about the man. And Cameron.

    Mom-on-a-Wire - thank you! So glad to meet you! I like the idea of a blog crawl.

  7. At last we disocver there are situations to render Miss Oyme speechless.

    As for that cat, I hope he's got a good chiropracter.

  8. Any cat story always captures my attention first. At parties I always ask people I meet if they have a cat. Now I think about it I have not been invited to any parties for a while. I wonder why that is?

  9. The cat wasn't that interesting, but they had links to other odd animals...that Mr. Osbourn must be quite the uninteresting fellow, obviously not related to Ozzy.

  10. Deborah - yes, it would need a chiropractor! And I wonder how many times, when it's laid flat out in front of the fire, it gets mistaken for a rug. Ouch.

    Linens and Royals - I can see why the invitations may have been slowing up .... Try 'Hello' and then follow up with the cat question. Might improve things a bit. A bit.

    Nana - yes, I followed some of those links, too. Do we really not have anything better to do with our time than look up 'loudest barking dog' competitions?.... Very worrying.

  11. 3.5 seconds? That's an eternity - I'd have clicked long before that!

  12. Well, you've inspired me to measure our cats. They weren't particularly co-operative since they were enjoying a nice nap - two nice naps - but they're 87 cm long (this is mainly tail, I must admit) and 70 cm long. The runts of the litter, I fear. Still, they have a great life compared, for example, to me. They: sleeping in sun. Me: clearing stuff out. And in my week's holiday, too.

    We met a very large dog yesterday. It came up above my middle. (Mind you, I'm a bit on the runty side myself.)

  13. No, Fran! We DON'T have anything better to do . . . and that's why Ozzy Osbourne's public spending cuts won't see any cars set on fire or refineries shut down. Dumbing down the telly has been, I think, a Government Sponsored Policy to guarantee peace throughout the land . . . I mean, what could possibly be more enthralling than watching Miss Widdicombe on "Strictly Come Dancing"?

  14. Kate - Ha ha. Yes, it was amazing that I held on for that long.

    Isabelle - Are you serious? Did you really measure your cats? That made me LAUGH.

    Doctor FTSE - I haven't seen Miss W on Strictly. I strictly forbid myself to even watch the show. I'm an X-factor girl (but don't tell Steve - I understand he is not a fan ...)

  15. Of course I did. Would I lie to you? The alternative activity was removing ten million books from various bookshelves, dusting said books and said shelves and replacing most (but, she said triumphantly, not all) back on the shelves. So - any excuse. Any pets anyone wants measured? Bring them along.

  16. Well, I'm sure you're forgiven. Stewie was much more interesting than Mr. Whatsit.

  17. Cat story always much better than politics :-) Serious news these days has me sticking my fingers in my ears and singing la de la la la!
    Politics is sooo depressing at the moment.

  18. That's a great cat. I vote we oust Osbourne and appoint the cat Chancellor.


  19. Hang on a minute, is it me? Everyone is commenting on the big cat that you talk about, but when I clicked on the link in your post, I was taken to a feature on large pumpkins.

    Is it me? I feel ostracised!

  20. I don't see how you could resist.

  21. Isabelle - but bookshelf dusting is so absorbing, especially when you spend hours looking at all the books you forgot you had. (ie no dusting at all)

    Eliza - looking at lengthy cats is so much more cheering.

    Suzanne - a feline Chancellor! The price of Whiskas would soon come down!

    annie - I don't know why you're getting the pumpkins. But that sounds very entertaining anyway.

    Elizabethm - I know. A will of iron, that's what.

  22. Hee hee hee -- LOVE the cat story. Ok I am not proud...

  23. How could I not follow you? I need you to make me laugh man! your blog is fabulous and ... count me in as a follower!
    love.love,love,love it!
    Now,I don't like begging,but go on,be a good boy and follow me too, will you?

  24. Lila - okay, I give in. Seeing as you were so nice about my blog. And 'be a good boy' amused me, because last time I looked, I was female ....!

  25. Lila - maybe my profile picture has misled you. Look closer ....

  26. SusanFrances23/10/10 08:27

    Annie.......you are not the only one. I, too, got a still picture of a cat, and then it went to a video of a rather large pumpkin being carried on a tractor!

  27. SusanFrances/Annie - you're absolutely right - it does start with the cat and then go to the giant pumpkin. Hilarious. They must have fiddled with the link because it worked before. If you want to see the cat, I'd google 'longest cat' and 'Nevada' and you'll find him! The pumpkin made me laugh a lot, though!


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