Evidence that posting twice in a day is possible but only when a bolting reindeer is involved

Watch Rudolf go in this BBC video  ....

Rudolf the Reindeer makes a bid for freedom

As Rudolf had said to the police earlier on that day ...

 'Look, Inspector.  It's like this.  Guys mention your shiny nose once - you just ignore them.  Twice - well, okay, they're jerks, but you stay cool.  Three, four times - it gets kinda annoying.  Five, six, seven - you give them a little nudge with your hoof to let them know you're no sucker.   But three thousand four hundred and seventy nine times?  No one can take that kind of hassle and stay calm, especially when they insist on singing the damn song each time, too.  So, I bribed an elf to attach spikes to the ends of my antlers (these elves are mugs when it comes to illegal height hormone drugs) and then, next time they started the old shiny nose routine, I picked them all off one by one.  Yeah, I know.  Gory.  But, look, that's a lot of meat lying around just now if you're looking for an alternative to turkey for your Christmas dinner, and I'm not putting ideas in your head or anything, but reindeer meat is worth a packet on the black market.  Hey, I can see you're tempted.  Yeah?  You mean it?  What, I can just go?  Now?  No charges pressed?  Sure, I'll run. Thank you, Inspector.  Thank you.'

Comments

  1. Eliza17/12/10 15:33

    Oh Rudolph :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous17/12/10 17:57

    Very amusing. Thanks.

    All the best, Boonie

    ReplyDelete
  3. Steve18/12/10 00:22

    With the added advantage that venison is one of the healthiest meats around. For us that is, not necessarily for the deer.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fran Hill18/12/10 04:00

    Eliza - you are a woman of compassion.

    Boonie - glad you liked it. Thanks for the comment.

    Steve - I did try venison in my pre-veggie days but I just kept thinking bambi-bambi-bambi which marred the enjoyment somewhat.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cheryl18/12/10 07:19

    lol great story, thanks

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pam 18/12/10 08:43

    Where's the sleigh? And Santa? And all the elves?

    Fran, I was going to write something severe about your gruesomeness but then I read your Bambi comment, and relented. My beloved does occasionally have Bambi in restaurants and puts the rest of us off our veggieburgers by addressing his dinner thus.

    Must go and lie down now. We've had a whole week at work and I'm not used to it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Friko18/12/10 13:07

    You might not believe this but I have eaten reindeer and enjoyed it, In Stockholm. Nobody sang though.

    As for falling and airing your big bottom for all and sundry: couldn't you have used the weight to propel you backwards? I did, my bottom landed first; but my wrist didn't like it much.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Fran Hill18/12/10 15:16

    LilyS - a pleasure!

    Isabelle - I have to say, although I wouldn't EAT one, I think someone should invent the Bambiburger. Bambiburger-in-a-bap. It's just so SATISFYING to say.

    Friko - thank you for your advice. Next time I fall over I will try to do so more carefully.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Alan Burnett19/12/10 01:27

    At which point he took flight from the police station which, in turn, led to the start of yet another Christmas story.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Annie (Lady M) x19/12/10 04:13

    Ooh Bambiburgers.. that's got me feeling peckish. I might nip out for a carvery!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Fran Hill20/12/10 10:46

    Alan - that's the reindeer's life for you - full of exciting happenings.

    Annie - oh deer.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons why Fran is desperately in search of earbuds

Image
My try-to-get-fitter walk in the fields today was a silent one. I usually listen to the radio through earphones but have lost one of the soft earbuds and nothing spoils a walk more than having hard plastic nudging up against your fragile tympanic membrane. The BBC's  'Woman's Hour' is a brilliant programme but loyalty has limits.  It was disconcerting, walking in silence. Listening to radio distracts from the disturbing reality that my legs are propelling me in forward motion because, if I think too hard about this, I frighten myself.  Today, while walking, I had to listen to my own thoughts.  And now I've listened to my own thoughts, I remember why I like radio better. The inside of my head is like a wastepaper basket.   Be grateful that I only offer you a brief excerpt.  Oh, look, that bird is - / Where did I put that mark scheme. I'll need it for - / My shoes are getting muddier./ Maybe mash with the fish tonight / really muddy / The trees are definitely more
Read more

Evidence that we don't always have the right words to say at the right time

Image
The Younger Daughter was reminding me about how, when she's just accidentally burned herself and is hopping up and down in the kitchen, my instant response is 'Careful, that's hot!'  Or when she's just tripped up a step, that's the time I choose to say, 'Watch yourself!' That's me.  Eager to be helpful.  Caring Parent of the Year. But it's instinctive, isn't it, to say something completely inadequate in the face of crisis?  It's a strange feature of the way we communicate sympathy.  What about the following situations ... When someone's fallen over and is lying flat on their face, we say: 'Oh, no, are you o kay ?' When someone's just set off down the road to the shops, then lets themselves back in five minutes later, cursing and stomping, we say: 'Did you forget something?' When we come across someone sobbing their hearts out .... ..... we say things like, 'Is something the matter?' To the
Read more

More evidence that the wrong consonant makes all the difference to a famous book title

Image
More typo-lit, one of my favourite genres: To Kilt a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a young family move into the area from Aberdeen.  The children are found dressing the local wildlife in tartan and have to be taught that clothing innocent victims in bright material is not acceptable.  The little girl (Scot) says, 'Shoot, Pa, that's the darndest thing I ever did hear!' and there is surprise all round at her adoption of the local dialect in such a short time. To Kiln a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a wise father teaches his children that to put an innocent bird into a red-hot oven, converting it into an attractive china piece for the kitchen, was bound to upset Aunt Alexandra when given as a birthday present, and if this was indeed their intention, they deserved a whipping.   They don't get the whipping; the father can't stand Aunt Alexandra either. To Bill a Mockingbird - a tale set
Read more