1. Checking out other people's blogs and leaving inane comments seems like something you did on a school trip many years ago, or like an ancient country craft such as dry stone walling or making horseshoes.*
2. You don't have time to secure your zips and buttons up properly after a visit to the loo and find yourself doing up the fastenings while walking down busy corridors towards important visitors to your workplace.
3. You haven't caught up with the recent news and are thus humiliated when you say to someone, 'Isn't it terrible news about President Kennedy?'
4. The concept of 'meals' containing vitamins and minerals seems a distant memory, your diet now consisting as it does of chocolate chip chewy bars, tins of peaches and throat lozenges.
5. When you look in the mirror, your stressed shoulders are so near to your earlobes and your face bears such a greenish, no-sleep, no-nutrition tinge that you realise that Shrek is prettier than you.
6. You start to lose things. Your keys are in the fruit bowl under three mouldy oranges. Your diary is in the fridge. Your electricity bill is in the dog. Your husband is in .... is in ..... is .... You can't find your husband.
|Now, I've found my keys .... but I SWEAR something else is missing .......|
*Spot the apology.