Evidence that any classic text can be brought up to date

More techno-lit ...

Don ShiftKeyote - in which a middle-aged Spaniard embarks on chivalrous deeds but comes to a sticky end when he finds that chivalry isn't quite the same when it's only in upper case.

The PrintPreview and the Pauper - in which a poor boy swaps places with a royal-born white screen with very tiny writing on until it is changed to 350%.

The Great Esc - in which some prisoners of war tap the Escape key continually in order to hide the sound of tunnel-making by their colleagues.

Backspace Beauty - in which a horse tells its story about how it was sent to a cruel owner who made it learn to run only in reverse.

The Processor and the Pea - in which the innards of a computer are put to bed on a tall pile of twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds but will still not work until the pea underneath them all is removed.

Mobile Phone Dick - in which a man intends to go to sea in search of a whale but finds that, because there is no network access at the shipping yard, he cannot let anyone know he is running late, and misses the boat.

Watership PageDown - in which a group of furry bunnies, under threat of losing their home, are saved by the fact that the estate agent in charge of the land does not scroll down far enough in the document and therefore the building works never get started.

Teddy was enjoying the story of GoldiCapsLocks and the Three Bears and loved the bit where
the blonde girl kept being accused of SHOUTING by Mummy Bear

(If you really want to spoil your day, you can see more of the same kind of guff here)


  1. Did Sancho Panza get dropped from the revised version because Keyote learned to Shift for himself?

  2. Love the Processor and the Pea--of many good ones!

  3. Hahaha! It's not often I say this, but LOL. Where do you come up with this stuff? Thanks for making me smile:)

  4. Very clever. Love this.

  5. Home Alone... a keyboard wakes up one morning to find all its keys, bar one, have been stolen...

  6. Chaucer and I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about . Perhaps the clerk knows ?

  7. You really must call a alt to this.

  8. Backspace Beauty... man alive, I can't get the image of a horse running backwards out of my head... that is well funny!

    How about another one:

    The story about the surfing dudes who suffered a crisis of confidence when they pressed the 'pause break' key.

  9. Just too much funny in one post! You should pace yourself...

  10. Young Capslockinvar has come out from the west,
    Through all the wide Border his steed was the best.

  11. Eh uy Fran, how you doing? Haven't heard from you in a couple of days!

  12. Clever post, Fran! You must be a teacher or something! lol

  13. Ha hA! Nearly missed this classic Fran post!!

    How about:
    A Tale of Two Shift Keys - where you press one and everything just 'hangs'?

  14. Wonderful stuff, Fran. Thank you for the smiles. I can't pick a favourite, so here's one for the classic collection:
    Treasure iPhone: in which a young sailor goes in search of a hidden feature on his handheld device.

  15. Love these, they're ace :) These really are Alt(ernative)!


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