How not to teach a Shakespeare lesson to teenagers if you want them to learn about iambic pentameter
Preventative (Measure for) Measures ...
1. Do not eat blackberry and apple crumble for lunch before teaching a lesson on iambic pentameter.
2. If you will insist on eating blackberry and apple crumble for lunch before teaching a lesson on iambic pentameter, look in a mirror before going into the classroom.
3. If you have eaten blackberry and apple crumble without looking at a mirror before entering the classroom to teach iambic pentameter, get ready for humiliation.
How things will go if you haven't taken preventative (Measure for) Measures ....
1. Teach your lesson on iambic pentameter.
2. Wonder, at regular intervals during the lesson, why the teenagers are finding your explanations of metrical feet and rhyming couplets so amusing.
3. Keep telling them off for lack of attention, then wonder why they are finding your admonitions equally as amusing as your explanations of metrical feet and rhyming couplets.
4. Get to the end of the lesson, more grateful than you have ever been that a bell (the bell that summons you to heaven or to ... the staff room) has rung.
5. Feel pleased when a couple of girls stay behind and ask to talk to you about the lesson. Think how nice it is that they want to continue the discussion on iambic pentameter and suddenly feel much better about things.
6. Feel much less better when they tell you that the reason everyone was laughing is because you have a piece of blackberry and apple crumble the size of Australasia stuck to your white shirt, just below the collar.
|Miss hoped that the blackberry and apple crumble had been the only reason they couldn't focus on the lesson but, she had to be honest, her electrolysis hadn't been going well recently either|