Evidence that even when way past puberty, one's face is not guaranteed to be pimple-free
Spot: I watched a play once in which a woman yelled, ‘Out, damned spot’. I’m not sure why – her skin looked fine to me – but she had a doctor and a nurse in attendance, so I guess her acne must have been pretty serious. They didn’t have Clearasil in those days, although they may have had Witch-hazel.
I think that manufacturers of spot concealer do not aim their products at real life spots which are 3 or 4 centimetres out, but at titchy little baby spots. If what I got were titchy little baby spots, though, I wouldn't even be buying the product - I'd be spending my money on a frothy cappucino and sitting in Costa and feeling smug about people in the queue who have real acne.
The other thing that puzzles me is that 'spot' is such an innocent little word, hinting at a teeny-weeny problem that just a dib-dab of cream will sort out. Forget the name ‘spot-concealer’. Why don’t they just get real and sell WHOPPING GREAT WANNABE-BOIL concealer, or THROBBING VOLCANO OF A PURPLE ZIT concealer? But they don’t. So what am I supposed to do? Join a model agency that supplies women to medical journals?
Concealer: There's no other way to say this. It doesn’t. It is not spot concealer. It is spot revealer. The concealer speaks more loudly than the spot itself. The spot just says, 'This is a bit embarrassing, especially at 49, to have what looks like teenage acne, but, hey, no one's perfect.' The concealer says, 'HEY, EVERYONE,
It would be just as effective to go for the Blue Peter method, and to cover the spot by strapping the whole tube across my chin with double-sided sticky tape (Sellotape is also available). That would mean the words ‘spot concealer’ would be clearly visible on the tube, and the solution just as effective as the cream itself.
All I know is, I need an answer. I don’t want a repeat of what happened recently. [Cue violins.] It was a Saturday. I had a day in, and that evening, we were going out for a meal with friends. I had slapped a gargantuan blob of toothpaste onto a raging spot which is what I do when I'm indoors. I read this tip in Jackie magazine in 1973. It's a natural antiseptic and sometimes it calms the spot down.
|'I must remember to wash off this toothpaste before I go out ... I must remember to wash this toothpaste|
off before I go out ... I must remember to wash this toothpaste off before I go out ... I must remember to ..................