1. You go shopping in the afternoon and your
Tesco carrier bag contains a
Neil Diamond CD, a bag of
boiled sweets and a
calendar reduced from £9.99 to £2.99 because it's mid-April. It's got pictures of
bare-chested boy bands
gardens on it.
2. Later, you go to a pub on a Saturday evening with your
husband only to find you are in the midst of a
20s-30s football crowd, mainly male, and yelling. You sit there like a
really trendy pair at ease with the situation
couple of vulnerable, nervous oldies let out of an institution for the evening, eat your
scampi and chips, then toddle off
to explore the clubbing scene
home to the sofa where you belong.
3. As you pass the shops on the way to the bus, you look
amazingly lithe and supple
in a vintage-clothing shop window. There, surrounded by a display of other examples of Edwardian dress, is a check tweed jacket identical to the one your husband wears
to fancy dress parties
to weddings, funerals, parties and anywhere else he is forced to pretend he likes looking smart.
4. At the bus stop, although you are at the front of the queue,
you allow an elderly pair past you
two people in their 40s step back to let you on the bus first. You say,
'Wanna punch in the face?'
'Oh, thank you very much' graciously, and get on, trying not to put your hand on your hip as you
shimmy onto the bus like a belly dancer
get up the big steps.
|Fran and her husband tried their best to enjoy life. Alas, an enormous green ball they|
hadn't spotted hurtling towards them was about to end it all.
Just love it!!! Thanks. JoanReplyDelete
Ah, I hear empathy!Delete
As for 1, 2, 2 (you have TWO 2's), 3 & 4(even though it's not included)--been there, done that!ReplyDelete
Deliberate mistake, of course, fishducky, but I corrected it all anyway. I like to keep you on your toes.Delete
I can't remember the last time I was out on a Saturday night. Maybe after a funeral?ReplyDelete
Ha ha. And I love the fact you can't remember!Delete
Fishduckies have webbed feet--no toes! You were speaking proverbially, of course.ReplyDelete
Out on a Saturday Night? never! Can't remember the last time. I love being old enough to go to bed early on Saturday night (and every other night) with a couple of cats and some good books to read.ReplyDelete
How do you read a cat?Delete
Make the most of it !ReplyDelete
Are you trying to say I don't have much time left?!!!Delete
Would I be so rude!?Delete
No , while I was certainly in a "Gather ye rosebuds" frame of mind , I was actually thinking wistfully of the time when I could haul myself onto a bus without puffing .
But there again , what can you expect ? Apparently I'm officially going to be Elderly in a few months , so Eyore-hood beckons .
The thing is, Fran, you forget that others can only see the packaging and not the 35yo who is still living inside the crumpled exterior :) Gravity does nasty things to your body but it can't get at your mind!ReplyDelete
'Crumpled exterior' describes it very accurately.Delete
The only thing I ever ripped up on a Saturday night was a dud lottery ticket. And the only 'jumpin' joints' in my life are where my arms and legs fit on.ReplyDelete
Really enjoyed BBC Four's latest 'Nordic Noir' last night, though, and didn't get to bed until just before midnight. Impressive, eh?
You know how to party, Martin, that's for sure.Delete
That's a relief, I'm glad forty somethings are not classed as middle-aged!ReplyDelete
Mind you, it is frightening that one or two of the above are creeping in... Just off into the garden put my tweed jacket in the incinerator!
I think if the 'something' is a 9, like mine, that's definitely middle-aged! Fifty this Friday. Although my resemblance to Beyonce would mean others would find that hard to believe.Delete
Nevermind. It's Antique's Roadshow on BBC1 later. That always make me feel better.ReplyDelete
You mean younger?!!Delete
sounds to me like you had a really exciting Saturday!ReplyDelete
getting older is great you know...I mean, what's the alternative?
So true ...Delete
Scampi and chips eh? Just the job!ReplyDelete
One of my favourites.Delete
I would be happy to be 50 on Friday. 50 seems a long time ago now, and yesterday, having a cuddle with eleven year old granddaughter i was told that I have " a young face, but an old neck and hands, and a moustache".ReplyDelete
I will make any granddaughters of mine wear a bag over their head when they're on my lap.ReplyDelete
I will be 80 in September and really feel quite chipper...must be something in the water.ReplyDelete
Enjoyed your book reports, forgot some of them...nice thing about being elderly.
Send me some of that water, Blue Ridge. Thanks for coming over. And I'm glad you like the book reviews. I must update them.Delete
You still go out! Wow! Respect!ReplyDelete
I don't give it long ...Delete
yeah... Fridays and Saturdays have long been off limits after dark....mnothing for me out there!!ReplyDelete
Ah, there's plenty out there. But can I remember what? Er ... now, just give me a minute ... I'm sure I .... in fact, I know I .... nope, all gone.ReplyDelete
Come on Mum, at least you could tell the truth. It's not even a Neil Diamond CD - it's Pam Ayres on cassette tape.ReplyDelete