1. Why did I ask the lady whose house I was in for a writers' meeting if she would 'kindly direct me to her facility' rather than just asking where the toilet was? Since when did I get so euphemistic about my bladder?
2. When a very old lady staggers onto the bus, shuffles down the aisle and plumps down next to you with an audible 'Phew' of relief, what's the best way of saying, 'Excuse me, please. Could you get up again and let me through? I need to get off at the next stop.'?
3. Why have I never realised how grim Grimm's Fairy Tales were? I'm reading them at the moment. Were these written for CHILDREN?
4. The first Pimms of the year, even if you don't have any lemon, any cucumber, or any ice to put into it, and even if the sun went in just as you were mixing the drink, is still a wondrous thing.
5. I get very, very excited about being on a new bus. The G1 is my regular bus, and sometimes I go on the X17. Today, I went on the 68 to Lillington (where the lady's house was with the 'facility') and had to write it on Facebook as my status. Someone replied, 'Easily pleased.' With good justification, no doubt.
6. When I am sitting in a room with seven other people, and someone says the word 'solipsistic', I find it difficult to know what to do with my face. I need to practise, in front of the mirror, a new 'I have no idea what that means but want to give the impression that I use the word three times a day in my own casual conversations' look.
7. Paperchase's mechanical pencils only work if you are not writing anything you feel cross about. A romance, fine. A piece of comic fiction, fine. A rant. SNAP!
8. I like to end lists on an even number, but have run out of things to say. Be grateful. Be very grateful.
|One of Fran's readers only got to point 2 before lapsing into a comatose state at the keyboard|
PS Talking about tidy numbers, I need one more follower to make it 300.....