Evidence that senior moments can even happen to junior people

I have so many senior moments these days.  In fact, I think I am in one long Senior Moment and every now and then I have a Junior one: a minute or two of lucidity when I rush around and get as much done as possible.  

But some moments of disorientation happen to everyone - young and old - when it takes a while for things to become clear.  Do you have experiences like these?..........

1. Someone asks if you'd like a cup of tea and then they make you coffee instead.  That first sip .....

2. You put someone else's glasses on by mistake and wonder when and how you wandered into the Hall of Mirrors.

3. You begin to undo your trousers, thinking you have a pair on with one button, and can't get them over your hips.  You've put on three stone in one day?  Then you find they're a three-button pair.

4. Your taxi arrives to take you to the station, so you run outside and hail it, dragging your case.  So does your neighbour opposite.  

5. You wake up on Saturday with a sinking feeling because you think it's Friday, and then realise, and then can't get back to sleep because of the joy.

6. You pick up the phone at home and say, 'Smithson & Co.  How can I help you?'




7. You pick up the phone at work and say, 'Hiyaaaaaaaaa!'

8. You bite into something very hard, such as pork crackling or nut brittle, and for a few seconds, you fear you are trying to eat a bit of your own tooth.

9. You wake in the night and hear high-pitched wailing from outside.  You can't get to sleep because of the 'Is it a cat? Is it a baby? Is it a cat? Is it a baby? Is it a cat? Is it a baby?' thought-pattern.  When you realise it's a baby, you can't get to sleep because of the 'How can a baby sound so like a cat?' thought-pattern.  When you realise it's a cat, you can't get to sleep because of the 'How can a cat sound so like a baby?' thought-pattern.  Then you go back to sleep and two minutes later the alarm rings.

10. Finally, my own definition of A Moment of Real Fear.  You press 'Forward' at exactly the same time as you realise you're not sure who you had written in the address box. 
  

Comments

  1. stephen Hayes19/9/14 18:44

    Funny. I'm getting tired of walking into the shower and wondering what seems different when the water hits my glasses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill19/9/14 23:41

      Yes! Wondering what seems different ... that puts it very well. And then there's the opposite problem - getting into the shower without your glasses and then trying to wash your hair in body lotion because you can't see the labels.

      Delete
    2. River20/9/14 18:25

      I've solved that confusion. Shampoo always on the right, conditioner always on the left, soap in the rack underneath. Body lotion is kept in the cupboard under the basin and also always in the same spot.

      Delete
    3. Fran Hill21/9/14 08:26

      You should be running courses in this, River. You seem to have it all ship-shape. I will remember your tips ...

      Delete
  2. River19/9/14 20:58

    I was beginning to think my entire life had become one long senior moment, then I woke this morning feeling fresh and new (young), so took advantage and cleaned the whole flat, including a load of washing, by 10am.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill19/9/14 23:42

      That's what I call a Junior Moment! I bet you really enjoyed the rest of your day!

      Delete
  3. BadPenny21/9/14 00:51

    I have turned into a Thesaurus to try to get the word I want !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill21/9/14 08:28

      That is a very wise clever sagacious enlightened plan.

      Delete
  4. Martin22/9/14 09:47

    I recently mentioned that I'd be taking a particular book to the charity shop, as soon as I'd washed it. And no, it wasn't at all dirty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill22/9/14 11:20

      That made me smile. At school, a couple of weeks ago I talked for a whole lesson about the lion in The Life of Pi. I still can't believe I did that.

      Delete
    2. Janie Junebug23/9/14 12:35

      hahahahahahaha cackle cackle cackle Can't help it. It's something I'd do.

      Love,
      Janie

      Delete
    3. Fran Hill23/9/14 15:11

      They will remember that lesson over all the others, I'm guessing. Like last year's lot, who said the most memorable lesson was the one in which, on hearing the local rag and bone man calling near the school, they said, 'Who's that?' I said, 'It's the man who collects all the junk from people's houses. Damn, I forgot to put my husband out.' They didn't remember much at all about the Sheridan play or the Hardy poetry.

      Delete
  5. SmitoniusAndSonata24/9/14 14:51

    As a child , I was always being told to " be your age " .
    So now I am , Senior Moments and all .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill25/9/14 12:29

      That's a very good maxim to follow!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons why Fran is desperately in search of earbuds

Image
My try-to-get-fitter walk in the fields today was a silent one. I usually listen to the radio through earphones but have lost one of the soft earbuds and nothing spoils a walk more than having hard plastic nudging up against your fragile tympanic membrane. The BBC's  'Woman's Hour' is a brilliant programme but loyalty has limits.  It was disconcerting, walking in silence. Listening to radio distracts from the disturbing reality that my legs are propelling me in forward motion because, if I think too hard about this, I frighten myself.  Today, while walking, I had to listen to my own thoughts.  And now I've listened to my own thoughts, I remember why I like radio better. The inside of my head is like a wastepaper basket.   Be grateful that I only offer you a brief excerpt.  Oh, look, that bird is - / Where did I put that mark scheme. I'll need it for - / My shoes are getting muddier./ Maybe mash with the fish tonight / really muddy / The trees are defin...
Read more

More evidence that the wrong consonant makes all the difference to a famous book title

Image
More typo-lit, one of my favourite genres: To Kilt a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a young family move into the area from Aberdeen.  The children are found dressing the local wildlife in tartan and have to be taught that clothing innocent victims in bright material is not acceptable.  The little girl (Scot) says, 'Shoot, Pa, that's the darndest thing I ever did hear!' and there is surprise all round at her adoption of the local dialect in such a short time. To Kiln a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a wise father teaches his children that to put an innocent bird into a red-hot oven, converting it into an attractive china piece for the kitchen, was bound to upset Aunt Alexandra when given as a birthday present, and if this was indeed their intention, they deserved a whipping.   They don't get the whipping; the father can't stand Aunt Alexandra either. To Bill a Mockingbird - a tale set ...
Read more

Reasons why Being Me is going to be Was Being Me for a while

I'm now on my summer holidays from school, dear friends, and I think there are two ways these 7 weeks could go. Option 1. I start out with the intention of chasing more agents and publishers for my books/beginning a new novel/writing some articles/trying to pitch a new column/entering some story and poetry competitions, but after 5 minutes of enthusiasm decide to blog/read blogs instead because it's just TOO DIFFICULT.  I therefore spend hours blogging and then find it's bedtime. Option 2. I decide to have a break from the blogosphere so that I can give myself as much chance as possible of actually getting past that 'it's just too difficult' point. I know myself too well.  So, I've decided on option 2.  You're a great bunch of followers and I hope you'll stick around so that when that I start 'Being Me' again in September or thereabouts, you'll be looking out for a seminal post about a stuffed animal or an incident on a local bus .....
Read more