Evidence that you can't always find a common theme however hard you try
1. Near my house, an alleyway leads under a railway bridge. On the wall of the bridge, some kid who has a GSOH but won't get a GCSE in English has sprayed, in enormous white painted letters, this message:
'Call the Graffiti Removeral Hotline.com!'
2. I noticed, yesterday morning while making my packed lunch of home-made cheese coleslaw, that when you grate cheese, it behaves itself, but when you grate carrot, it goes everywhere but into its assigned container. The cheese obediently grated into the sandwich box, yet only three shreds of carrot landed in there. The rest was a) on my cardigan; b) on the walls; c) on the work surface; d) still on the carrot. Retrieving shreds of carrot from various surfaces is not the way to start a working day.
3. When I log in to my computer, it asks for a password. When I mistype the password, it says to me in its 'concerned friend' voice: 'Hint: usual password.' It seems to think I would deliberately type in an unfamiliar one. Surely, 'Might that have been a typo?' would be more humane rather than treating me as though I had a peanut's brain?
4. Today was 'moderation day' for our English department at school, checking our GCSE coursework grades to see if we'd been marking them fairly. To accompany the moderation, we had a) hot cross buns; b) Party Ring biscuits; c) Jaffa Cakes; d) chocolate biscuits. We even missed lunch while we worked, snacking instead on a) hot cross buns; b) Party Ri - you get the idea. Moderation is sedentary stuff. I have never sat so still, and yet consumed so many calories, before. If I did a week like that, I would need bringing out of the building on a crane. Two weeks: a hearse. Three weeks: a hearse, pulled by two carthorses and a tractor.
5. Last night, I started to listen to a radio programme about how stressful teaching is these days, except that I kept falling asleep, shattered after an 11 hour day. I woke several times to find the programme had moved on ten minutes without me. I love this kind of irony.
Okay. Now for the connection between these items........
Nope. Can't think of any way of linking these together. So, today, my theme is the randomness and arbitrariness of life and existence. Beckett, eat your heart out.
Here's an owl in a straw hat, just to consolidate today's theme ...