Evidence that people can be admired for all kinds of feats


Yesterday, a woman on the train who had no teeth was noshing her way through a whole Scotch egg as if it were an apple. (For the uninitiated, a Scotch egg is a hard-boiled egg wrapped in sausage meat and breadcrumbs and fried.) If you'd given me the choice between watching her eat a Scotch egg and not watching her eat a Scotch egg, I'd have plumped for the latter. But she was directly opposite me, and I admired both her skill and her total lack of self-consciousness. I didn't take a photo (one can get thrown off trains) but to help you imagine, here's a picture of a woman with no teeth.




And here's a picture of a Scotch egg.




This egg is a world-record beater for the largest Scotch egg made in a restaurant. The one she ate wasn't quite that impressive, but, to her, it may well have seemed that way.

There are other tasks that could be compared with a woman with no teeth eating a whole Scotch egg.

a) Someone eating a whole joint of roast beef with a rubber fork.
b) A man climbing a mountain in slippers.
c) A woman knitting a scarf using spaghetti instead of needles.
d) Sportspeople playing tennis using fly swatters.
e) A farmer building a dry stone wall using bubble wrap.

Can you add any, followers?

I'd like to think that when she got home from her train journey, she thought, 'What shall I have for tea? I know. There's that bit of pork crackling in the fridge, then I'll have a bag of peanuts, and I'll finish with some nice treacle toffee.'

As long as I'm not there to watch, I'm pleased for her. I hope she has a lovely evening.

And, yes, I had a pleasant week away, thank you. I did do other things apart from go on trains and watch people eat Scotch eggs. Not that you'd know it from this rather narrowly-focused blog post.

Comments

  1. #1Nana11/4/15 10:11

    I had no idea what a Scotch egg was. Thanks for the picture (of the egg not the toothless woman) without which the drama of the entire event might have been lost on me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill11/4/15 14:17

      Oooh, you haven't lived! A Scotch egg is a hard-boiled wrapped in sausagemeat, then breadcrumbs, and fried. It's lovely with a bit of pickle and salad, but I would use a knife and fork rather than adopting that lady's method ...

      Delete
  2. Anonymous11/4/15 14:31

    Scotch eggs are new to me, too!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill12/4/15 00:46

      You too? I just looked up their origin and there are forty thousand and three different explanations for where they came from. A lot of people are making the claim. I always thought they were Scotch as in Scotland but someone else says it's from 'scorch' and frankly I don't have time for that kind of messing about with truth. I just like the taste!

      Delete
  3. Linens and Royals12/4/15 00:38

    You would use a knife and fork to eat a scotch egg?? You are posh!! Scotch eggs are available in Australia but hard to find. As for the toothless woman, it was most likely the treacle toffee that caused her lack of teeth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill12/4/15 00:47

      Aha! Yes - in fact, maybe for her Scotch eggs are EASY compared to the diet she's always lived on before.

      Delete
  4. Unknown12/4/15 00:54

    I once saw an old man climb a mountain in slippers - very slowly I might add. It was Ben Nevis. There was also a man climbing it in flip flops!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill12/4/15 15:25

      Some people have a death wish, surely!

      Delete
  5. SmitoniusAndSonata12/4/15 02:42

    You can always tell which people have no teeth before you see them , by their wheezy laugh .
    ( I probably join the wrong queues in the supermarket ... or go to the wrong supermarkets ... )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill12/4/15 15:26

      In future, I am going to ask anyone with a wheezy laugh to Open Wide so I can check. I am intrigued by your suggestion.

      Delete
  6. Steve12/4/15 03:54

    A man carving a statue using a play-do chisel...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Frances Garrood12/4/15 05:56

    I'd like to know who laid that egg? Whoever it was, it must have been painful.

    Apropos your question, how about trying to keep toddler grandson out of cupboards, away from sharp objects and switches, and, most importantly, alive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill12/4/15 15:26

      Yep, that pretty much beats knitting with spaghetti.

      Delete
  8. Coloring Outside the Lines12/4/15 13:28

    I'm just learning things all the time- have NEVER heard of a scotch egg! Kudos to you for not being obviously disgusted with her over eager masticulation. I have that most annoying "disease" called misophonia, so I would probably have been climbing out the window. I can hear the lip smacking right now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill12/4/15 15:28

      I looked up misophonia because I didn't know about it. Yup, you're right. You would have had to move to a different carriage! Or maybe train. Or country.

      Delete
  9. River12/4/15 22:15

    I have missing teeth, not all of them, the gum in those areas has become quite hard with an edge to it, so that woman probably had no trouble at all biting into it.
    Years ago a neighbour friend of mine would take out her teeth to eat hard things like apples etc because biting with the false teeth pressing into the gum was uncomfortable. I guess it's just what people get used to.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Fran Hill13/4/15 14:01

    I never thought of the gums as being that capable! I guess that's nice to know, should I ever lose my teeth.

    ReplyDelete
  11. BadPenny16/4/15 00:58

    my mother with her 85 year old's teeth takes a hard boiled egg on train journeys. I have to pretend she is not with me.

    I think digging a hole for a new shrub might be a challenge with a child's plastic spade

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill16/4/15 09:56

      Gah, no! The thing is with the hard-boiled egg, it's the SMELL! I bet that really cheers up her fellow passengers! Yes, you're right about the plastic spade. That sounds a bit like Sisyphus pushing a stone up a hill then watching it roll all the way back down again.

      Delete
  12. Debra She Who Seeks18/4/15 07:44

    It's rare these days to see a toothless person out and about. At least in Canada it is. Perhaps I just move in the wrong circles.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons why Fran is desperately in search of earbuds

Image
My try-to-get-fitter walk in the fields today was a silent one. I usually listen to the radio through earphones but have lost one of the soft earbuds and nothing spoils a walk more than having hard plastic nudging up against your fragile tympanic membrane. The BBC's  'Woman's Hour' is a brilliant programme but loyalty has limits.  It was disconcerting, walking in silence. Listening to radio distracts from the disturbing reality that my legs are propelling me in forward motion because, if I think too hard about this, I frighten myself.  Today, while walking, I had to listen to my own thoughts.  And now I've listened to my own thoughts, I remember why I like radio better. The inside of my head is like a wastepaper basket.   Be grateful that I only offer you a brief excerpt.  Oh, look, that bird is - / Where did I put that mark scheme. I'll need it for - / My shoes are getting muddier./ Maybe mash with the fish tonight / really muddy / The trees are defin...
Read more

More evidence that the wrong consonant makes all the difference to a famous book title

Image
More typo-lit, one of my favourite genres: To Kilt a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a young family move into the area from Aberdeen.  The children are found dressing the local wildlife in tartan and have to be taught that clothing innocent victims in bright material is not acceptable.  The little girl (Scot) says, 'Shoot, Pa, that's the darndest thing I ever did hear!' and there is surprise all round at her adoption of the local dialect in such a short time. To Kiln a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a wise father teaches his children that to put an innocent bird into a red-hot oven, converting it into an attractive china piece for the kitchen, was bound to upset Aunt Alexandra when given as a birthday present, and if this was indeed their intention, they deserved a whipping.   They don't get the whipping; the father can't stand Aunt Alexandra either. To Bill a Mockingbird - a tale set ...
Read more

Reasons why Being Me is going to be Was Being Me for a while

I'm now on my summer holidays from school, dear friends, and I think there are two ways these 7 weeks could go. Option 1. I start out with the intention of chasing more agents and publishers for my books/beginning a new novel/writing some articles/trying to pitch a new column/entering some story and poetry competitions, but after 5 minutes of enthusiasm decide to blog/read blogs instead because it's just TOO DIFFICULT.  I therefore spend hours blogging and then find it's bedtime. Option 2. I decide to have a break from the blogosphere so that I can give myself as much chance as possible of actually getting past that 'it's just too difficult' point. I know myself too well.  So, I've decided on option 2.  You're a great bunch of followers and I hope you'll stick around so that when that I start 'Being Me' again in September or thereabouts, you'll be looking out for a seminal post about a stuffed animal or an incident on a local bus .....
Read more