Reasons why making appointments is risky

I am leaving my current teaching post on Friday and moving on to another post. But isn't it just the way? As soon as you decide you need to make a change, what you have seems infinitely attractive.

It's the same in all aspects of life.....

'Oh, hi. Can I make an appointment for a haircut, please. My hair is SO messy at the moment. It's everywhere, and I can't stand another minute of it. The sooner it's cut, the better.'
'4.30 on Friday?'
'Yes, that's great. Thanks.'
'Okay - I've written you again - see you then -'
'Hey, hang on a sec.'
'I'm just looking in the mirror here, and as soon as you said, '4.30 on Friday?' my messy hair suddenly looked buoyant, springy, healthy and alluring. I do believe I have turned into the L'Oreal girl. Cancel that appointment.'

Three minutes after cancelling the hair appointment, things began to deteriorate again. 

'Hello? Doctors' surgery. Can I help?'
'Oh, yes. I really need to see a doctor urgently.'
'What's the problem?'
'I've a terrible cough. I can't stop coughing. (Cough cough.) Every time I speak I cough (cough cough). I think I might have pneumonia (cough cough cough) or some kind of aggressive chest infection (cough cough cough cough). All I know is, if I don't see a doctor soon, I may not have long to live (cough cough cough).'
'Oh dear. How about 3.30 this afternoon?'
'Gosh - that long? (Cough cough) Do you have anything this morning?'
'Well, we could squeeze you in at 11.30 if you like.'

[At 12.00, having sat in doctors' surgery waiting room for half an hour without coughing once]
'So, Mrs Hill, what seems to be the problem? I understand you made an emergency appointment.'
'I - er - (tries to manufacture cough, but without success, so thinks quickly) - I wondered if you could look at this mole that's been worrying me. I swear it's getting bigger.'
'A mole? Where? Show me.'
'It's just on my arm, here. I mean ... well, it was there yesterday ...'

Thirty seconds after leaving the doctors' surgery 



  1. And don't forget the painful toothache that disappears once you're in the dentist's office.

    1. That is so true. You feel such a fool.

  2. I make appointments and then can't wake up for them. Woe.


    1. Make an appointment with the doctor about not being able to wake up. You'll soon be sorted.

    2. How will I wake up to get there?

  3. HaHaHaHaHaHa.
    I usually regret my hair appointments just after the cutting when my neck and ears feel so exposed.
    I have a similar annoying cough and discovered (years ago now) that I have asthma and now use an inhaler as soon as the cough tickle begins.

    1. You are so right about the hair thing. My hair is short and having it cut makes me feel very naked for a week or so. Especially in a nippy wind. Bring on the scarves, at that point.

  4. That hair thing happens to me every time.

    I think it's funny at the Drs when someone I know greets me with,
    " How are you ? " and I answer, " Fine thanks " I'm obviously not fine as I wouldn't be at the docs. Once, I used an appointment to simply rant & the Doctor ( not one I knew ) asked " Better now ? " I laughed my head off.

    1. I love that doctor! At least he/she knew what was going on. I know what you mean about telling people you're well when you meet them at the doctors. It's bizarre behaviour, but I suppose it's an 'unspoken' etiquette thing. No one really wants you to reply, 'Ah, well, you see, it's this rash under my armpit.'

  5. There should be an agency, where you phone up, make an appointment, and then feel better. The appointment wouldn't actually exist, and you wouldn't have to write it down, or remember it, or do anything at all about it. But you would be happy in the knowledge that you'd made an appointment.

    There's a small business idea waiting to happen.

    1. You mean, like a placebo appointment thing? That's such a good idea!

    2. ...or just speak to the Drs Receptionist over the phone who will question you & decide you are not ill enough to see a Doctor !!! It could save MILLIONS training Doctors !

  6. It's that old grass is greener thing, trust me. The grass is the same both sides. Laced with thistles without a 4 leaf clover in sight.

    Tarmac over the lot. That's my advice.

    1. You're such a cheery, happy go lucky soul, Steve. Have you been reading Larkin or listening to Leonard Cohen or something?

  7. As for the hairdressing appointment ...
    Always made in advance to fit in with an approaching old-school-reunion , Christmas/New Year /niece's wedding or weekend workshop in candle making in Mull . And invariably turning out to be on that one afternoon when your hair looks just the way you've always dreamt .
    Too late to cancel . It's either Yeti or bald .

  8. How right you are! Why is that, though...that's what I want to know.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons why Fran is desperately in search of earbuds

Evidence that we don't always have the right words to say at the right time

Evidence of Fran's near-death experience