Evidence that some fictional characters should have made different New Year Resolutions

I last posted these 'Characters' New Year Resolutions' a few years ago and they're always popular, so here they are again, new and improved, plus some extras.

Happy New Year!




Gulliver: Don't lie down in other people's countries.

Red Riding Hood: When taking cakes to grandparents, go via the main road.

Pilgrim: Steer clear of Sloughs.

Dr Frankenstein: Use a wider variety of materials for future craft projects.

Dr Jekyll: Learn to live with yourselvesself

The Three Little Pigs: Begin with the bricks.

Holden Caulfield: Revise.

Jay Gatsby: Never let a woman drive.

Lennie Small: Let go of the soft things earlier.

Mr Bennet: Don't bother with sarcasm that no one gets.

Dorian Gray: Keep the portraits in the kitchen.

Juliet: Marry for money.

Three Men in a Boat: Leave dogs at home.

Magwitch: Skype from Australia

Jane Eyre: Ask for a full tour of the house on the first day.

Piggy: Always carry matches.

Macbeth: Never trust women who don't speak in iambic pentameter.

The Emperor: Check in a mirror before leaving for processions.

Mummy Bear: Give them toast.




Any other suggestions?....




Comments

  1. Buy the bigger basket. Happy New Year.

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    1. The right answer! Happy New Year to you, too, OSC, and thanks so much for continuing to follow and comment. Much appreciated x

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  2. Haha! Brilliant. Rebecca (my favourite novel) - Check the beach house for missing boats?

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    Replies
    1. And what a short book that would have been!!

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  3. Brilliant! I love Mr Bennet's resolution. Thanks for the continuing humour.

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    1. Thanks so much for reading, Veronica. Glad you enjoyed it. Mr Bennet has to be one of my favourite male characters of Austen's. So, so sarcastic, but all so futile!

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  4. Brilliant Fran. I loved this - specially the one about Mr Bennett!

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    1. Thanks so much. That's one of my favourites, too :)

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  5. Snow White, don't eat apples. Happy new year xx

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    Replies
    1. You'd think she'd have guessed, given it is handed to her by a dodgy-looking old woman ....

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  6. Happy new year, funny lady!!

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    1. Thanks, fishducky (another funny lady ...) xx

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  7. Shylock - get a smarter lawyer

    Thanks for the chuckles. Happy New Year

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  8. Oh, yes, Jay Gatsby, don't let her drive. Your book would be much longer. Emma, stay away from matchmaking.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. Emma is incorrigible. She should take your advice, Janie.

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  9. Oliver Twist, don't ask for more! Happy New Year Fran and family! ��

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  10. That would have messed up Dickens' plot something rotten. 'Please, Sir. I've had sufficient.' Happy New Year, Clare!

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  11. Hey, that’s ageist!!! Xx

    Peppa Pig’s Parents - use contraception!

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    1. I'm just getting to know the Peppa Pig stories because my grandchildren ask for them at bedtime when I babysit. They also have Peppa Pig Snap, Peppa Pig Happy Families .... etc etc.

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  12. Cathy: Don't be such a friggin' materialistic snob. Marry Heathcliff.

    Happy New Year, Fran. Love this post -- so funny!

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    Replies
    1. Happy New Year, Debra. Love your Cathy idea. Thanks for all your comments and support in 2017. x

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