Reasons why Fran wishes her husband could wear slippers
I'm so sorry I haven't posted for a while. Here are some reasons.
Reason 1. I was very busy buying my outfit and hat in which to attend the Royal Wedding of Harry and Meghan. Then I had to shop for the wedding present, and travel to London especially for the event. All this took time in itself, but to top it all, I then had to spend a few nights in a police cell after being denied entrance to St George's Chapel and charged with affray on its front steps, a totally unreasonable accusation bearing in mind I only gave the police officer one little push when he said I couldn't get in without an invitation.
Reason 2. I've also been busy writing my novel. It's amazing how many different ways you can write it. Here are some.
My novel (large font)
My novel (italics)
My novel. (in red)
My novel. (in a different font)
Another way to write my novel would be to sit at my desk and add more words to a manuscript but it's much less scary just playing with font sizes, colours and typefaces.
Reason 3. I've been doing housework, and because my husband wears white sports socks around the house which shed tiny specks of fluff everywhere he places his feet, the hoovering takes up a disproportionate amount of my time. It's not his fault; he can't wear slippers because of foot problems. But it means I can stand in the hall for weeks, watching the seasons go by, while pushing the vacuum cleaner back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, just for one piece of white fluff that clings to the carpet as though masquerading as a limpet or a fluffy white leech.
Worse, the hall carpet is blue. Imagine how that shows up the white specks. People come into our house and wonder why we have had snow in our hall while everywhere else in the UK is having a late spring.
Reason 4. I have been busy teaching my little English teacher heart out. I teach most of the day in a learning centre for teenagers who are excluded from school and then I come home and tutor private pupils in my front room. The nearer we have edged towards exam season (which is Now) the more lessons the private pupils have booked. Their lessons are usually an hour, but five minutes of that hour is taken up while they enter the front door and negotiate the thick layer of sock fluff in the hall (I sometimes lend out skis or snowboots) in order to access the front room.
I hope this has adequately explained my temporary absence. I will try to do better, fluff-allowing.
Reason 1. I was very busy buying my outfit and hat in which to attend the Royal Wedding of Harry and Meghan. Then I had to shop for the wedding present, and travel to London especially for the event. All this took time in itself, but to top it all, I then had to spend a few nights in a police cell after being denied entrance to St George's Chapel and charged with affray on its front steps, a totally unreasonable accusation bearing in mind I only gave the police officer one little push when he said I couldn't get in without an invitation.
Reason 2. I've also been busy writing my novel. It's amazing how many different ways you can write it. Here are some.
My novel (large font)
My novel (italics)
My novel. (in red)
My novel. (in a different font)
Another way to write my novel would be to sit at my desk and add more words to a manuscript but it's much less scary just playing with font sizes, colours and typefaces.
Reason 3. I've been doing housework, and because my husband wears white sports socks around the house which shed tiny specks of fluff everywhere he places his feet, the hoovering takes up a disproportionate amount of my time. It's not his fault; he can't wear slippers because of foot problems. But it means I can stand in the hall for weeks, watching the seasons go by, while pushing the vacuum cleaner back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, just for one piece of white fluff that clings to the carpet as though masquerading as a limpet or a fluffy white leech.
Worse, the hall carpet is blue. Imagine how that shows up the white specks. People come into our house and wonder why we have had snow in our hall while everywhere else in the UK is having a late spring.
Reason 4. I have been busy teaching my little English teacher heart out. I teach most of the day in a learning centre for teenagers who are excluded from school and then I come home and tutor private pupils in my front room. The nearer we have edged towards exam season (which is Now) the more lessons the private pupils have booked. Their lessons are usually an hour, but five minutes of that hour is taken up while they enter the front door and negotiate the thick layer of sock fluff in the hall (I sometimes lend out skis or snowboots) in order to access the front room.
I hope this has adequately explained my temporary absence. I will try to do better, fluff-allowing.
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| Fran's blue hall carpet |
You need to get a roomba to do all that fluff work for you! It could work almost continuously -- dock, recharge, run, repeat. It would free you up to finish your novel!
ReplyDeleteI had to look up roombas. How fantastic. Do they write, too? Sometimes I am less scared about fluff-lifting than about writing.
DeleteCould you stick some Velcro on the soles of your husband's socks so he picks up his own fluff while shedding it ?
ReplyDeleteThat is genius.
DeleteMaybe you could replace your blue carpet with white carpet . . . no, that won't work, everything else will show on it. How about 'accidentally' dyeing your husband's socks blue?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry the postman didn't get your invite delivered in time. Someone ought to be let go over that. Tsk. I, too, did not get an invitation, and I'm way across the pond. Heads should roll, I tell you.
You remind me of when we told our teenage son (this is a while ago ...) that he needed to wash his hands more efficiently because when he dried his hands on our beige towels, we could see dirt streaks. 'Just buy black towels,' he said.
DeleteI want pictures of you in handcuffs cuffed to a good looking Bobby...now THAT would be an excuse lol.
ReplyDeleteI too would like those pictures.
DeleteTwo solutions:
ReplyDelete1- a turbo brush attachment for your vacuum cleaner
2- socks for your husband in a colour to match your carpet
(option three is to have the husband vacuum the fluff).
Or a turbo-brush attachment for my husband, then he can clean as he goes?
DeleteThat's it. You may have inspired me to write a post about my own blue carpet. I thought I was being clever - how could it show dirt? But with an orange cat and it being the path to the laundry - headquarters of lint - it was a non-starter.
ReplyDeleteOn the plus side, when I spilled an entire can of paint while painting the front door a matching blue, no one was the wiser.
Ha ha! I love your paint story!
DeleteAnd I loved your blog post!
DeleteI wondered what was going on outside the chapel as I waited for Harry and Meghan to arrive. So sorry you don't seem to have received your invitation. I'm framing mine.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I appreciate your sympathy very much. Please send me a photo of your framed invitation.
DeleteDreadfully short-sighted, I don't wear my glasses inside the house. It's very relaxing, lint has become a thing of the past along with dust, crumbs and spider webs.
ReplyDeleteEvery cloud ....!
ReplyDeleteHair spray them, nuisance going it after every wash but divide spray time by vac time and see which is better. I tried this on that shedding machine masquerading as a cat but he has more area to spray than a sock so another experiment down the drain.
ReplyDeleteWell, there's an idea. I guess I'd have to choose the 'firmness' quality carefully just in case he found he couldn't get his feet into the socks :)
Delete