Evidence that you need to know one Albert from another

I'm going to Cornwall tomorrow. I've booked my taxi to Leamington Station.

'What's the address?' the taxi office said when I rang.

'Albert Street. Leamington,' I said.

'Okay.' I could hear him scribbling.

'Not Albert Street, Warwick.'

'Ah,' he said. I think he knew why I was making sure.

Warwick is the town closest to Leamington and there being two Albert Streets can cause confusion. Albert Street, Warwick, sometimes gets our takeaways, and we get theirs. 'Pizza for 8?' says the delivery driver.

'Sure,' I say. 'We'll take it. Please tell the people in Albert Street, Warwick, that we're very grateful. We've just eaten shepherds pie and broccoli but we're bound to be peckish later.'

That's when they get suspicious and clutch the pizza boxes to their chests.

We've had taxis turn up to collect people from Albert Street, Warwick.

'Where were they going?' I ask. 'If it's Morocco or a world cruise, I'll get in anyway. Let me just get my bag and toothbrush.'

About a year ago, a woman with a clipboard knocked on my front door.

'Hello,' she said. 'I'm from the council.'


'Here about the extension in your back garden.'

'You are?'

'I presume you know that your landlord has applied to build an extension on the house into your garden?'

'He HAS?'

She took exception to my surprise. 'It's all documented here.' She pointed to her clipboard and tapped it.

'In OUR back garden?'

She tapped it again.

'If you want,' I said, 'you can come and look at the back garden. I'm not saying it's small, but at the moment there's an ant in it and a bee and they're battling for space. I'm even going to Slimming World so I can sit in the back garden without my thighs against the fencing on either side.'

She looked down at her paperwork and frowned.

I peered over at it and spotted the address on the form.

'Albert Street in Warwick,' I said. 'Not Leamington.'

She flushed a shade I haven't seen since I last ate pickled beetroot.

'I'm so sorry,' she said.

'So am I,' I said. 'We could do with a downstairs loo and somewhere to put a broom. I got hopeful.'

She turned and ran to her car.

'While you're there,' I shouted after her. 'Tell them we like more pepperoni.'

It's my ambition to move to Albert Street, Warwick. I'd like to have lived in both Albert Streets.

What's more, Albert Street in Warwick has a church in it, and that's the church in which I married the spouse in 1982. So it would all have come full circle if I ever achieve my ambition.

And, if the woman with the clipboard is anything to go by, we're more likely to get somewhere to put the broom.

I'm back from Cornwall on Friday and will be saying to the taxi driver then, 'Albert Street, please. The Leamington one.'

He'll understand why.

Hopefully, the people at Albert Street, Warwick, would never get to see the contents of Fran's fridge

STOP PRESS: [The next day] Hey, everyone. GUESS what happened with my taxi to the station this morning ....  Yup. It went to Albert Street, Warwick. And I only just made my train ...


  1. Haha! Nice one. I look forward to hearing if you meet the Warwick lot one day so you can exchange pizza preferences. Great post You are so funny 😂

    1. That would be such a good party! I wonder if there's an Albert Street in other local towns too ... Hm ....

  2. I find myself agreeing with Deborah above me. I think you should go to the other Albert Street and introduce yourselves.

    1. I actually might do that next time I'm in Warwick. I feel as though we're already pretty intimate, what with knowing their pizza preferences and where they go on holiday. What's left to know?

  3. You could organise to have Twinned Streets and host events for each other x

    1. This is getting bigger and bigger now. It doesn't have the same ring, though, as 'This street is twinned with a sophisticated-sounding one in the South of France.'

  4. That/s hilarious. We have a similar situation. Our street is Ferndale Ave, thee is a FErndale Road in the opposie end of the city. We always specificy AVE when we give our address to a delivery or trade person since we spent the better part of a day waiting for a trade that went to the wrong end of town.

    1. The thing is, you'd THINK that taxi drivers or tradespeople would be looking OUT for a possible error, knowing what they know about similar-sounding names. I just hope they never train in midwifery. People would be getting each other's babies left, right and centre.

  5. This must be an ongoing frustration, but you've made it sound like a roaring good time. That takes talent :)

    1. Thanks, Jenny! To be fair, though, this kind of stuff happening is my only real entertainment.

  6. Hi Fran, are you in Looe at the mo then? :)

    1. Currently sitting in the garden studio, looking at the sea!


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