Reasons why Fran feels self-conscious today (more than usual ..)




I picked up my new glasses this morning. Here's a Before and After comparison for you, whether you wanted it or not.


Before





After




You have no idea how long that's taken me, to post those Before and After pictures. Every time I posted the After one, it hopped up the page and decided to appear before the Before. 'No,' I told it. 'I need you after the Before. If you go before the Before, people will think the Before is the After and the After is the Before.'

'And who will care?' the After photo said to me. 'Why do you think anyone's bothered about your new glasses anyway?'

I ignored its cheek and dragged it back down again. This time, it stayed. 

It's true. Maybe no one is bothered. But it seems a dramatic change to me, and I felt very self-conscious, stepping out of the opticians into Leamington's main high street. What if I saw someone I knew? Would they do that is-it-isn't-it thing and decide not to speak to me? What if they hate the new look? Will they pretend they haven't seen me, and hope I think they didn't recognise me? 

What if they think I am my own doppelganger and stop me to say, 'We know someone who looks just like you, but she's a weird old bird and best avoided. Don't say we didn't warn you.'

As it was, I had enough to concentrate on without angst about people. Adjusting to new varifocal glasses gives you the same feeling as when you've just stepped off a boat. Is that a step? Where's the kerb? Why do I feel as though I'm having to put my feet down really carefully as though I might be on quicksand? Do I look like John Cleese? 

Not just that, but I have, for the first time, had my glasses made light-sensitive, so they go dark in bright sunlight or light. Instant sunglasses, except that, from behind them, I don't know if they're dark or not. It's disconcerting.

I did in fact meet a friend as I neared home. 'I've got new glasses,' I said. She was too polite to reply, 'Really? You don't say!'

'Are they all dark?' I said. 'Can you see my eyes? I feel unnerved if I'm talking to people in sunglasses and can't see their expression. Do you? Do you feel unnerved?'

She probably did, by then. 

The two photos above: it's strange. I now notice that in the Before, I'm not properly smiling, and my hair is disarranged. In the After, taken seconds later, I'm smiling properly and my hair looks tidy. 

Boy, these new glasses have magic powers! I'm going off to weigh myself just in case they have that power, too ....





With these glasses, you get a free stick of celery to wear between your teeth. I think I'll settle for the ones I've got. 







Comments

  1. Well I definitely think your new glasses are much more flattering (but that may be because you're smiling and your hair is tidy). Let me know if they do turn out to be magic glasses which cause weight loss too because I want a pair of them...

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    1. Alas, Sheila, the news about the weight loss is not good :( If you hear of anyone manufacturing weight-loss glasses, do let me know. I too would pay a LOT for those.

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  2. Me too! And I think your new specs make you look EVEN more intelligent.

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    1. Thank you! I will try to act intelligent to match. I'll let you know how it goes.

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  3. And here I thought it was planned - that you had been fiendishly clever to offer us untidy vs tidy to subliminally sway opinion.

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    1. Like they do in plastic surgery or weight loss adverts. First picture: frowny lady wearing dark top in gloomy room. Second picture: smiley lady in lovely bright top in sunshine.

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  4. The new glasses look good......mine go dark too....not dark enough though. It's funny but I've noticed people who wear sunglasses often take them off when they are talking to someone. They don't bother me at all if they leave them on. If your glasses take pounds off by all means let me know...I'll be right over to try them on.

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    1. I would take mine off when talking to people but I've now got so used to wearing them that I feel weird with them off, as though I'm naked ...

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  5. Ooh I like them and you wearing them, wear them with pride. I wear sunglasses more these days but raise them when talking to someone.

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    1. I will try to wear them with pride as you suggest, but every time I catch myself passing a mirror it's still an 'OOOHH!' moment!

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  6. I like your new glasses!!

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    1. Thanks, fishducky. I trust your judgement!

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  7. Probably you'll get people saying "you look different, did you do something with your hair?"
    I remember hating that "where's the floor?" moment when adjusting to new glasses, but I got prescription sunglasses instead of regular ones that darken with light. Without a doubt, best thing I ever bought!

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    1. I'm currently on holiday with the grandchildren, River, and they are reliably letting me know when my glasses have gone dark!

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  8. You've inspired me to go light sensitive. I think your new glasses are great I love the post too, as it shows I'm not the only one who stresses about a new hairstyle/glasses etc. Also it made me LOL x

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    1. The light sensitive glasses are good, Deborah, but I keep thinking, 'What a dull day it is, so how come I'm feeling pretty warm?' Then I take off the glasses, and the sunshine hits me!

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  9. I live in sunglasses (for distance so take them off to read)
    But the automagically tinted don't work for me - if I'm standing in shade and looking at sun, automagic is WRONG.

    Darker frames suit you!

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    1. Thanks, Diana - I'm getting to like the darker frames, but it's taking a while to adjust to them.

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  10. I am in the market for new glasses shortly, so this post was right up my alley. I like yours! And now that I know the secret to Before and After pictures, I will be sure to take MY Before picture as soon as I get out of bed so it will be complete with wrinkles and creases on one side of my face :D

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    1. Funny! Your comment made me smile!!

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  11. They suit you very well, Fran.

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