Evidence that Fran's birthday won't be the same this year

It's my birthday soon.

It's on Monday. Thanks for asking.

Well, I know you didn't, but I sensed you were about to.

Oh, you know, wine, chocolates, flowers, perfume. The usual.

No, not all of them, unless you're feeling generous.

I'm sure that's not true. But there's a first time for everything.

Coco Chanel, actually. A small bottle would be lovely.

No, I don't mean the shower gel.

I know the nice man at the market sells it, but -

Well, I'm sorry, but if you want quality, you will pay over a hundred.

That's okay. Just the chocolates, then.

No, it isn't my 60th! How could you think that?

Well, don't come in so close then.

Thanks for the recommendation, but I've used the same face cream for years now and wasn't intending to swap.

What am I doing for my birthday? No, nothing much, really, what with the lock down.

You don't need to worry about that. I won't forget the daily walk, no. Even if it is my birthday. Thank you for your concern.

Yes, I suppose I could make myself a cake, although there's no law against making one for someone else and putting it on their doorstep.

I know, but just saying.

You're right. I could also cook myself a lovely birthday meal. Thank you for the suggestion.

And wrap myself some presents. How kind of you to have so many ideas.

And write myself a card. May I refer you back to what I said earlier about doorsteps.

And there's always next year, you're absolutely right.

Or the year afterwards, yes, but let's not get too pessimistic.

Well, that's very kind. If I don't pick up the phone, feel free to sing it into the voicemail. I might be too busy to answer if I'm MAKING MY OWN CAKE.

The birthday daily walk 


  1. I like this post; it especially resonates with me because it is my birthday this week too. I already had a birthday party on Zoom with two friends. I like your photo and the idea of walking down the street with balloons.

    1. I hadn't thought of a Zoom party. I hope you enjoyed yours!

  2. And if that doesn't cause shamefaced offerings to flood in, I don't know what will.

  3. Happy lockdown birthday, Fran, and at the very least, I think Phoebe and Elijah should record a song to be played on the BBC

    1. What a good idea! I will suggest it ;)

  4. Ha! Loved this. Don't forget you have two presents from me, although amazon weren't offering wrapping. Sorry. And I would definitely make you a cake and put it on your doorstep if you lived nearer. A clever post. Well done x

    1. They are in the hall, along with what I believe must be a card. So you get 10 out of 10!

  5. Happy Birthday, Fran, especially if it's your Big Six Oh! The last birthday party I went to, the celebrant circulated an email first to advise people of the specific kind(s) of wine she wanted as gifts, along with similar specifics for cannabis gifts (it's legal here in Canada).

    1. Two years to go until the Big One. And it's the same month as my Ruby Wedding Anniversary too. That will be a big party month - if we're allowed parties by then, otherwise that'll me and my husband wandering forlornly down our lane holding balloons :( I can't help admiring your friend who circulated the email - that is called CONFIDENCE!!

  6. This is hilarious! I hope you get a birthday cake that you didn't have to make yourself. My birthday is within the week after yours, so here's to us spring babies, even if we are getting on a bit :)

    Happy Birthday and many more, Fran :)

    1. My son brought round some lemon drizzle cake and left it on the doorstep so I think I will be indulging in some of that. He is a good baker. Happy birthday to you, too. Spring babies unite!!

    2. See! It worked like a charm.

      I do wish you a very happy birthday, with celebrations furloughed to next year?


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