Why I should just stay indoors
I never, in private ...
1. Come in at the wrong point when singing along to something at the top of my voice.
2. Stub my toe.
3. Bang the funny bone in my arm.
4. Sneeze wet sneezes without a tissue handy.
5. Misjudge where a chair is.
6. Take too much spaghetti on my fork.
7. Start reading my book then realise it's upside down.
8. Get lockjaw when I do a really big yawn.
9. Get a tickle in my throat that gives rise to uncontrollable coughing.
10. Find a fly in my eye.
11. Burn my mouth on a hot pie.
12. Get chased by a wasp.
Know what I mean?